Bloodline
by librawriter
Summary: Scorpius is as arrogant and cold as his father Draco. Rose is as beautiful and determined as her mother Hermione. They come from different bloodlines; their hearts however, are the same. Rose realizes this. Scorpius does too, but tries to fight it. Tries
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Sexy times. Or not. I own nothing. I'm currently on spring break, and my creativity is in bloom. Joy to the world!_

**Bloodline**

"I've never been in Slytherin before," Rose whispers as Scorpius pops the last button on her shirt open, slides it smoothly over her shoulders. His hands are fluid, water in motion, as they move back up her arms, pulling her closer, tongue going into her mouth, kissing hard the way she likes it.

"Good," he murmurs against her lips. "That's another first I'm giving you."

She throws her arms around him. He can have it all, right here, right now…

But Scorpius laughs softly. "We'll get to that part, my beauty," he teases as he pulls away. She pouts, starts to object when he shushes her, kissing her collarbone. "You know I want to take my time with you," he murmurs. His tongue traces a path from her chin all the way down her throat. Her head falls back, a soft cry erupting from her lips. She is soaking wet between her legs. She wants him to touch her _there_, and feels ever the naughty girl that she would even think it. What would her mother say if she could see what she was doing right now, with the son of Draco Malfoy? Her father despised the entire family…

Rose forces her parents from her mind, concentrates instead on _him_. His hands and mouth all over her, yes, the way she always wanted him—all over her. Scorpius turns her on so much she can't stand it. Whatever he wanted, whatever he needed, all he would have to do was ask, and she would be willing and able. He's just so bloody confident and cool and so _smart_ and so gorgeous- tall and blond and _gorgeous_, with electric green eyes that take her breath away.

His mouth is on hers again, his fingers squeezing her hips. "Do you know how much I want you, Rose?" he whispers fiercely against her skin. She's glad she bathed with the soap he's told her likes, the kind that smells of spring rain and field flowers. The soap is light green and there's only a small bit of it left. She'll have to get more soon.

"I want you, too," she replies, arms going back around his neck. He doesn't pull away this time.

_Yes, I'll fuck him tonight_.

* * *

><p>Her cousins and her friends had lost their virginities long ago, one by one, like the creeping blight. Her brother probably had as well, though the thought made her gag to think about. Still, he was one of the more popular Fifth Years and he had been spending quite a bit of time with Allison Hutchinson. Allison always blushed furiously when she saw Rose around school, which Rose thought was a dead give away.<p>

Rose herself had originally vowed to wait until marriage; but then around fourth year, Scorpius Malfoy returned from summer break, tall and built and tan. As a Fifth Year, he'd made the Slytherin Quidditch team as an alternate Seeker. Girls started flocking around him and he became slightly more arrogant. Yet, it hit her like a Hippogriff one day that it didn't matter he was Pureblood and only appeared to date Purebloods. It didn't matter her family despised everything his family stood for, that his family had once belonged to the sinister Death Eaters. Rose was hopelessly, helplessly _attracted_ to him, on some level deep within. Of course she'd always _noticed_ him, but Fourth Year, she'd had to acknowledge he was the one who made her heart skip a beat, he and he alone, over any other boy. Funny thing was, it wasn't long after the Seeker business and the giggling girls that Rose started catching him looking at her as well.

In class.

In the halls.

On the way to his Quidditch practice when he had on his gear and looked more handsome than ever.

Every time Rose caught Scorpius' eyes on her from his table in the Great Hall, in the midst of his Slytherin circle of friends, it made her weak in the knees.

For months, he said nothing to her. Then one day at the end of Herbology class, he pretended to search something in his bag, waiting until she walked by to suddenly step in the aisle, cutting her off. She bumped into him.

"Watch it, Weasley," he'd said the first two times.

"I don't know why he does it! It's like he _wants_ me to knock into him!" Rose had confided in her best friend and cousin, who was much more confident in boys and dating and flirting. With a roll of her eyes, Roxanne Weasley huffed, "That's the whole point, Rose. He wants your attention. A blind wizard could see that!"

Imagine that, him going out of his way for _her_ attention. Being so damn foolish about it. "Roxy, I don't know, he must know about our families—"

"Of course he does, who doesn't?"

"But he's only dated blond girls. I couldn't be his type, maybe there's something on my face—"

"Percalia Timmons has dyed purple hair and Isabell Bombart's hair is black and I know for a fact he's snogged them both. I believe he even shagged Isabell in the Prefect's bathroom, at least, that's what I heard."

"Isabell? I knew of Percalia, I had no idea about Isabell! Oh, this is ridiculous. I can't keep up, just forget it!" Rose groaned. Her stomach knotted up at the thought of him being with Isabell, doing things she could only imagine in the dark. Or maybe it had been light. She shuddered, hugging herself.

"You're more beautiful than all of them. Why do you think he's looking? Hell, he's been looking since First Year! Don't let him bump you again. Next time, make him apologize for it. _Make_ him talk to you," Roxy prompted.

The next time Scorpius had tried his little trick, Rose had taken her cousin's advice. Putting her hands on her hips, she looked him boldly in his emerald green eyes, and to her credit, her voice came out calm and confident. "You're doing it on purpose. If you want to talk to me, just say hello."

He'd snickered, casually side stepping her. "I don't do anything on purpose," he'd said and walked away.

* * *

><p>They kiss heavily, often getting tangled in her curtain of hair. Scorpius loves her long hair, loves the curves of her body, the depth of her solid blue eyes. He's told her before. Rose is aching with nothing but desire. She yearns for him, for his touch, for his kiss, and damn whether she's being used or not. She doesn't give a shite. He could use her up, the way he did Simone Treet last semester, Holly Pearl the semester before, Raven Lockington… the gods only knew how many others…<p>

The weather has already started to change, so Scorpius wears two shirts, both of which he pulls over his head. She bites her lip shyly, traces the hard outline of his chest and stomach muscle with her finger. Why is he so damn beautiful? Gods, she never stood a chance against refusing him…

He's a Prefect, of course, so his room is his alone. They won't be disturbed, and besides, most of the students have gone off campus to Hogsmeade for a big Quidditch party, for Seventh Years only, which they are. The dorms are nearly empty. It's a nice enough evening, probably one of the last before winter sets in, and best of all, it's a Friday.

Scorpius grabs the fingers she is touching him with and pulls her closer. As soon as their mouths touch, his body is against hers, pressing her nearly bare back to the cold stone wall. He likes his bed against the wall. He told her once he can't fall asleep unless his face is almost touching it. Rose arches away from it with a little squeal and Scorpius laughs softly, grabbing her about the waist. "Sorry," he murmurs.

"You and your bloody wall," she teases. They tumble back into his soft blankets. Everything gray and green and white. He's as much a Slytherin as she is a Gryffindor.

He kisses her again, Rose moving to suck his lower lip. He groans, half with pain and half with pleasure, she knows. He always groans to the little nips she gives him, on his neck, his ear, his shoulder. She can't help it; she loves to bite him. His skin is so soft to be a boy, it's only right he should have bruises on it. From _her_. That way, whatever girl he may be going with will see and know she's hasn't got him to herself. Rose has him too. Scorpius hasn't stopped her as of late, which possibly is a good thing. It just may mean that she _has_ him all to herself. So she makes sure to mark him up each and every time they have met up to do this, though they've never done _that_. They have been meeting up to do _this_ and not _that_ for three months now.

Rose decided he could have her the last time she was pressed against him in the back hall of the Astronomy Tower, humming with pleasure as he put his fingers inside her and moved them around until she saw stars, felt the blood rushing in her ears. When her eyes had finally fluttered opened, Scorpius had been watching her. "I want to make you do that with my cock," he'd whispered in her ear. "I want to be on top of you, inside you and watch you do that, just as you did now…"

She'd blushed but it was dark, so he didn't see. She had the cover of darkness to pretend she'd heard words like that every day.

Now, Scorpius' fingers reach behind her to snap the hooks of her bra off. It yields easily and then her breasts are bare.

He stops, looking at her. He says nothing. They are both breathing rapidly. She blinks, laying still. He can see it all, if he likes. Then he leans down, and they are kissing again, removing the rest of their clothing simultaneously. They get naked sooner than she'd thought, but it doesn't matter. She's here and here she's going to stay.

"I want to see you," he says softly to her. She nods, obeys, opening her legs to him, her hands at her sides. Her heart is a caged bird in her chest, yet she trusts him. Why, she hasn't a clue, but she does. He touches her again, and her face goes against the nearest pillow.

"You're sure I'm the first?" he asks her, turning her face back towards his. "Honest to the gods, you've never been with anyone?"

"I would never lie to you," she says tenderly, perhaps revealing too much, but she has no guard up around him. She is an open book, every word in his handwriting.

To her surprise, his eyes become sad.

He makes no more moves to touch her or kiss her.

"Scorpius?" She sits up, long hair covering her body like a shield. She puts a hand to his arm. His muscles are firm and warm under her fingers. "What's wrong?"

"Fuck me…" he curses, his hands going to his hair. "I-I-I can't." He turns quickly from her, grabs at the piles of clothing scattered about.

"What?" Rose tries not to shriek. "I don't understand…I thought we were going to do this, I thought you said you wanted to—" Rose says, her voice raw. She fumbles to get dressed because that's what he is doing now. She is confused and hurt. She swallows the lump in her throat, trying to calm herself. "So am I leaving?" Her vision suddenly blurs with tears.

"I'll walk you back," is his reply. He is fully dressed now, sitting on the edge of his giant poster bed and looking at his feet. Rose sucks in a breath, pulling her jumper over her head. Her lips are practically bruised, her panties are soaked, and he is taking her home. This wasn't what she had been expecting at all. She feels stupid, ashamed. He didn't want her. She'd turned him off. She wracked her brain trying to figure where it had all gone wrong. Should she have lied about being untouched? Did she smell strange?

"Ready, then?" he mutters, sliding off the bed.

Rose nods numbly, not knowing what else to do.

The walk back is excruciating. They don't speak, and he barely walks near her, though she has grown accustomed to that, as they have taken great pains to make sure no one knows they are involved at all. It would be such an unacceptable pairing, for the both of them, so Rose has told only Roxy what she has been doing and not doing with Scorpius. Roxy swore herself to secrecy by wand. Every finger on her left hand would break if she said a word, which was a clever binding spell by Rose, for Roxanne was left handed.

Nearly to the entrance of Gryffindor, he touches her arm lightly. "I'm sorry, Rose," is all he says.

Rose can't speak. She whips around, rushing into Gryffindor, flying up the steps and straight to her bed, tears of shame burning her eyelids. She lets out an exasperated scream that none but the walls hear.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It's been a week, and all Roxy knows is that it went very badly; Scorpius didn't want Rose in the end, and that was that.

"So you were stark naked and he said _no_?" Roxy asks, her eyes wide in disbelief. Suddenly she giggles. "Maybe he's not…um…into girls…"

Rose blushes furiously. "He is! It was rock hard, he just didn't want to use it on me! Now please, let's talk of something else. _Anything_ else!"

More days pass.

Rose makes sure to avoid any nook or cranny where she might run into Scorpius. They have two classes together, but she pretends she doesn't notice him. If he answers a question in class, she becomes intrigued by the notes on her parchment. If he happens to stand by the door once class is dismissed, she suddenly feels the need to fumble in her bag for something, same as he used to do back when he wanted to get her attention. The dining hall is never a problem, as he eats with his Slytherin crew and she eats with her friends at the Gryffindor table.

Sometimes she cries into her pillow at night when she thinks about him, about how good if felt having his arms around her, his lips against her lips all those times before…she thinks of his smile that comes so rarely and that tenderness he shows her the times they have been alone, and it causes an ache so strong in her chest she can feel physical pain, but she knows she can't continue to do this, cry over a boy who never wanted her to begin with. She has confidence in herself and she knows she's smart and she's been told enough times she's pretty, and just because Scorpius Malfoy wouldn't go to bed with her, it doesn't make all of that untrue. She just has to forget him. Somehow, someway, she just does. And she cries more tears against her pillow, but only when she is sure no one can hear. In the morning, she goes about her daily routine as if he never mattered, and as long as she tells herself this, it seems to make itself true, until she sees him—the flash of his blond hair ducking into class or flirting with some other girl in the hallways at school- and then she knows that what she has been telling herself has just been lies. She misses him and she thinks she fallen in love.

One day she and Roxy are headed to class and it happens, the way it does, suddenly and without warning. There he is, the most beautiful boy she's ever seen and he's talking to Rebecca Tribe, a busty fourth year. They're flirting. Aren't they?

"He's just talking to her. He's allowed," Roxy says.

Rose whips around, facing forward and looking quite determined. "Of course he's allowed. We're not…we don't speak anymore. It's not like that, it never was."

"You wanted it to be."

"No, I never. I don't care what he does."

"Bollocks."

"I don't. He doesn't want me, and I don't want him either. He can do as he pleases."

Roxy says nothing, but raises that one eyebrow in a way that lets Rose know she hasn't convinced her at all.

She cries more tears against her pillow that night. "This is the last time. I _won't_ do this anymore over you," she whispers angrily as she wipes her face sometime after one in the morning.

No one is more surprised than Rose when Scorpius is waiting outside her class last period the following Thursday. He looks so fit, one leg propped against the wall, school bag across his chest, looking off to the side. As if he hasn't a bloody care in the world, as if he hadn't her heart in the palm of his hand and has been crushing it between his fingers these past few days…as if.

"Rose," is all he says when she emerges from class along with everyone else in Advanced Botany. She can already feel the eyes on her, she, the envy of every girl in school right now except Roxy, who fancies some sixth year in Hufflepuff, a burly Quidditch player who's been sending her love notes.

She ought to ignore him, she swears to the gods she ought, but she is a moth to his flame. Her feet are already headed in his direction. She glances helplessly at her cousin, who makes a "go-for-it" face at her.

"I need to talk to you," Scorpius says, looking quickly at her, then away again. Girls stare at him and blush even when he is standing here talking to her. It turns her on and infuriates her at the same time. Her fury speaks for her.

"There's nothing to talk about," the Fury says. She wants to leave; she feels awkward, conspicuous.

"Don't be like that. It's important," he says, and his eyes are on her again, but briefly. It's like he won't look her in the face. _If he can't, I won't be bothered. I've had enough_, she thinks. She shifts her bag on her shoulder. "I've got study hall now. I—"

"Just…just come with me for a moment," he says and saunters off, as if knowing she will follow, which she does.

"Where are we going?" she asks.

Then he does something strange.

He reaches for her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. He says nothing. Her heart pounds in her chest and she wants to soar and cry at once. She is fucking confused. And exhilarated.

He leads them a small ways past the school grounds to the Astronomy Tower. It's a place they have been many times, when their hormones couldn't control themselves. The go into one of the first rooms off to the right; it's a small classroom and the tables look to be covered with projects and experiments and reports. Scorpius draws in a deep breath and takes both of her hands. She pulls away, shaking her head. "I don't want you to do that," she tells him.

"I can't even hold your hand?"

"No," she says defiantly, chin up.

He sighs sadly. "I understand. I won't touch you, then," he says softly. He glances down, then back at her, biting his lower lip. "About the last time we were together…I'm sorry," he says, watching her.

"You've told me that already," Rose tells him. He looks at her, and she knows better than to let another word come out of her mouth. She just might tell him she loves him. But she doesn't, she _mustn't_, she couldn't.

He frowns, still managing to look perfect, and turns from her, picking at the walls of the classroom. "It wasn't…it wasn't because I didn't want to…because I did. I do, I do want to with you. More than you know. And I...I just…I just…my heart is telling me one thing and my head is telling me another."

Rose sniffs. "Well, if you don't know what you want, then this conversation is a waste of time."

He turns back towards her. "It was never my intent to hurt you. I _won't_ hurt you. So that's why…that's why we mustn't see each other any more."

Rose has cried enough already over him. Hell, at least he has the balls to tell her that it's over to her face. She nods. "Alright. And if you're done, I'm going now."

She turns to go, but now he grabs her hand, stopping her.

"If this is goodbye…just don't hate me…please tell me you don't hate me," he says softly to her. He smells of something clean and warm and masculine, some sort of cologne that will never leave her memory.

"I don't hate you," she says and takes a step back. "I could never. At least you've been honest," she says. Her heart is breaking, because this is the stuff of her nightmares. Him telling her these words, him telling her he won't see her again, she'll never feel his mouth against hers, she will never know entirely what it feels like to have him, for him to be hers and she, his. She will never be his girl. This is the last time, and she needs to get away from him.

"When I see you around school…well…don't be afraid to say hello," he says. As if he's asking to borrow a quill or the time. How can he be so nonchalant about this? Perhaps he was expecting tears? He would be disappointed.

"You as well. Have a good day, then," she says as calmly as he appears to be, and she saunters from the room with her head held high.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"You ought to see the way he's looking at you," Roxy whispers devilishly to Rose. She's reapplying pink lip gloss while her quill takes notes for her. It's a trick her father taught her, Rose's Uncle George.

Rose makes her back perfectly straight, and scribbles notes even more furiously. "I could care less. He's confused. I don't have time for it," she sniffs.

It's the first chilly Monday of November, approximately three weeks since Scorpius has told Rose they couldn't see each other again. Rose has gone above and beyond to avoid seeing him, and she has succeeds except for the two classes she shares with him, Advanced Herbology and Honors Ancient Runes and Symbols. She, Roxy and Scorpius are on the same track to becoming law practitioners for the Ministry of Magic. A well rounded education is favorable for the high paying positions available for Hogwarts graduates, and few Seventh years bother to take the challenging Runes course. There are only ten of them total.

Due to the small class size, it is very difficult to totally ignore Scorpius, but Rose tries her best. It doesn't help that Roxy keeps pointing out how much he keeps looking at her.

"Students, your attention please," interrupts the teacher, Professor Sniggins. "There has been a change in the syllabus this semester. I want to try something slightly different as this is such an advanced group. Instead of a parchment and quill exam, I would be interested in pairing you off and having you complete and independent research project due to me right before the holiday break."

The class titters with this news, and Roxy grabs Rose's arm excitedly. They already _know_ they will be partners.

"However, I have taken the liberty of assigning the pairings. One thing you must learn to expect once you enter the working world is tolerance to all sorts. I've noticed that the same students work together and so for this assignment, I should like to see you branch out and get to know someone different. Please listen for your name and your partners name….Abigail Potts with Lucas Saint James…Trichelle Dominguez and Robert Ringlefort…"

Roxy gets paired with Alonzo Capstone, a bespeckled boy with a face of red pimples. She makes a gagging face to Rose, but just as Rose is about to laugh, she hears her name.

"Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy-"

Her heart drops. How can this happen? Why would this happen? Why Scorpius?

"...and I do believe that concludes our pairings. So please, move your belongings next to your partners, this will be the person you will sit next to until the semester ends. If you please, time is of the essence," Professor Sniggins says with a big smile.

"Good luck, girl," Roxy whispers as she collects her things. "Scorpius beats working with Fish Face!"

Rose might have laughed if she didn't feel tightening in her chest as Scorpius made his way over to her.

"Doesn't this make your cup of tea," he says as he slides next to her on the school bench. "Paired up with the boy you despise most in the world."

"I never said I despised you," Rose says nonchalantly. "But maybe I ought to try a little harder to."

The teacher starts discussing their assignment requirements. Scorpius seems insistent on getting his point across. "I don't think you understand," Scorpius whispers. He leans closer to her, and she is uncontrollably reminded of that time where she almost let him have her, the smell of him returning her back to that night in an instant, back when he lay in her arms and saw her. Every inch. And still didn't want her. She went red with shame.

"I understand enough. If you don't mind, I need to hear what we're supposed to be doing," Rose says, and leans her head against her right arm so that her hair covers her. All Scorpius can see now is a long cape of red hair, that's all that matters. She has something she can hide behind.

"You can't ignore me the rest of the semester," Scorpius starts up again once they are given time to begin their work. "I did what I did for a reason, Weasley."

Rose flips her hair back, narrows her eyes at him. "And I'm doing what I must for a reason."

"To hide the fact that you're in love with me?"

Rose gasps. "How dare you! My gods, these girls have really got you thinking you can just have your way—"

"I almost had yours. You were ready and willing to give it, weren't you?"

Rose shakes her head with a short, sarcastic laugh. "But you weren't man enough to take it, were you? Then you try and make it seem like you care about me so much and you can't do this and you can't do that…save it. I'm done wasting my time with you. I admit, I was ready, I wanted it, but you didn't, so, just as you are so clever at doing, I'll move on. And the next time, I'll be certain he can finish what he starts."

They don't speak the rest of class, and when the teacher dismisses them, Scorpius is the one who walks away without looking back.

* * *

><p>The rest of the week goes by slowly. Rose and Scorpius have Herbology together, but that's a full class, so she doesn't have to be anywhere near him. That weekend there is a big Quidditch match, and as usual, the pitch is packed with spectators. She knows his number on the Slytherin team, 24, and she sits perfectly still and shows not a trace of emotion when he makes some spectacular saves.<p>

"That Scorpius Malfoy…he's soooo fit," she overhears a girl say. "I'd kill to spend a night under the stands with him."

Her friend laughs. "You're bloody right about being under the bleachers. He has very high standards."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Oh, just that he seems to prefer Purebloods who are beautiful, blond…"

Rose casts a nonverbal buzzing charm over herself so she doesn't have to listen to the rest of their foolish chatter, lest it drive her mad.

On the way out as she walks with her friends, arms linked up as usual, she sees Daniel Littlejohn a few paces ahead. He's a Seventh year as well, and a Prefect. _He's fanciable_, Rose thinks as she watches him make a show of balancing several imitation Snitches on the tip of his wand while his friends look on. They all seem to be having such a good time, laughing with each other. He's the opposite of Scorpius, looks wise. Both are tall, but where Scorpius was quite fair, Daniel's complexion is tan. Scorpius' hair is straight and flaxen, Daniel's is curly and dark.

Rose doesn't know what comes over her, but she sends a quick "_Reducto_!" his way, and the Snitches scatter. The crowd surrounding him roars with laughter.

"What the bloody hell…what was that for, Weasley?" he says. His dark eyes aren't angry, however. He gives her a curious if not slightly amused look as he waits for her answer. And what answer had she? She saw him and she thought he was cute and if Scorpius could have a flock of admirers, why couldn't she? She certainly wasn't ugly, and this was her last year at Hogwarts. She needed her fun before it came to an end. She needed and wanted to be needed and wanted. She wanted to know what it felt like to be experienced, and not the only one of her friends still pure as snow. She wanted to erase from her mind the shame she felt every time she thought of herself spread out before Scorpius, ready and willing only to have him turn from her, only to have him grab his clothing and then take her back to her room.

"Sorry," Rose says coyly as she walks by with her friends. "I couldn't help myself. Stirring up trouble seems to be in my blood."

Her friends giggle and duck their heads together to whisper. "What _nerve_!" "You're cheeky!" "That certainly got his attention!"

Rose could almost feel Daniel's eyes on her as she walked away from the pitch.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It's a rainy Wednesday afternoon and the students in Advanced Ancient Runes are hard at work with their partners. Scorpius and Rose haven't quite gotten started yet; they can't agree on which topic to cover. Scorpius wants to make the Runes project about the influence of Vikings over the wizarding world. Rose wants to make the project about old spells brought from Rome. They bicker back and forth until Scorpius sits back roughly in his seat and throws his quill down on the table. "Look, let's ask Professor Sniggins to assign different partners. This clearly isn't working. We have less than two weeks to finish this shite and you're arguing against every word I say," he says angrily.

Rose doesn't want to look at him and feel her heart accelerate, but it does when her eyes lock with his. The jumper he's wearing turns his eyes the greenest she's ever seen. Something draws her attention lower; before she can stop herself, her eyes wander to the dark purple bruise against the skin of his throat, a place she knows for a fact to be soft as down. That bruise, however...she has no facts about it. She can't remember if he'd taken a hit at the match Saturday. Could another girl have done it?

He sees her staring at it and rolls his eyes. "_Quidditch_. You were at the match, you saw when Collins tried to take my head off near the last quarter. It's not from another girl."

Rose stiffens, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. She quickly gives her attention back to her books. Damn him for knowing her thoughts. "We're not together, so even if another girl had put that on your neck, I wouldn't care. You are free to do as you please."

"The same as you're doing with Littlejohn?"

"That's none of your bloody business," Rose says breezily.

She and Daniel have been spending time together. They haven't kissed yet. Well, not technically. Daniel has kissed her on the cheek exactly twice. Rose has put off kissing on the lips because she knows her heart isn't where it ought to be.

"So you admit you're seeing that fucking shite for brains derelict from the lower east side? Disgusting," Scorpius sneers.

"Your superior attitude is sickening. I'm so glad things ended for us when they did. You and I never would've worked. Gods, and you mean to be a law practitioner. I pity your clients," Rose says. He makes it all the more easy to hide her feelings when he becomes the snob she knows he is. _So what do I even still want him for?_ It's a question she can't answer as she turns the pages of her text book to disguise her trembling fingers. When he acts as if he cares, as if he's jealous, it confuses her. She doesn't know what to think. He hasn't called on her since that time before they almost shagged, yet he lets it be known that he's been tracking her.

"Pity them? Ha, don't make me laugh, Rose. They'll be lucky to have someone like me to defend them," Scorpius says. "If they can afford me, that is-"

"Shut up," Rose says with a sigh. "You're driving me mad with your bloody arrogance."

Scorpius shakes his head as he leans in closer to her, and whispers fiercely, "Don't act as if you're a fucking saint. You're not. You made it seem like you were so …and after one misunderstanding, you're running to someone else. Saint, my arse. Everyone thinks you're so bloody sweet and innocent. It's bollocks."

"I _am_ sweet," Rose tells him with a smile. "I never claimed to be innocent. You saw what you wanted to see."

"So you're shagging Daniel then, is that it? How could you? How could you let him put his hands on you?"

"And what have you two decided on?" Professor Sniggins has suddenly appeared, smiling hopefully, hands clasped together. Rose's heart is clenching, because he's done it again, riled her up. She blinks, trying to collect herself, but before she can utter a word, Scorpius answers, "We're doing spells. Old, er, Roman spells."

Professor Sniggins nods her head excitedly. "Excellent choice. I'll be looking forward to reading your reports."

Scorpius looks at her after their teacher has moved on, but Rose does not return his gaze.

* * *

><p><em>It's a dream, it must be, for she and Scorpius are in his room, among school books and crumpled papers and the sun streaming through his open window. Here, in the dream world, his room is larger than it is in reality, but it doesn't matter. As all dreams go, she can't remember how she got here, but it doesn't matter. They are here together and they aren't arguing. <em>

"_You're really hurting me, you know. Seeing Littlejohn," he tells her over a game of miniature Quidditch. Rose hides her smile, so happy she could fly without a broomstick. So he _is_ jealous. __"You know I love you." _

"_You've never told _me_ that." _

"_I was going to tell you. That night…but you confuse me. I never wanted you to be mad at me," Scorpius says._

"_Oh, no? Then come here and kiss me," she says. He drops his playing pieces and goes to her, wraps her in his arms and kisses her so hard it takes her breath away. _

"_Don't stop," she says, holding him tighter. "Let's don't stop this time." _

"_You might break my heart. It's actually as fragile as these playing pieces," Scorpius tells her. _

_Rose laughs gently. "There's nothing fragile about you."_

_Scorpius puts his forehead against hers. "But I am. I'd never be able to be with you, not seriously. Your bloodline isn't pure. My parents would never allow is. So eventually we would have to end it. It would destroy me, to have to let you go, no matter how I felt." _

_Rose pushes him away then. "The word isn't 'fragile' then. It's coward." _

_She walks away, the scene changes to a crowded room. She can her Scorpius calling her, but she ignores him._

* * *

><p>Rose awakens suddenly, as if someone's held a burning dragon tonic under nose.<p>

It makes perfect sense now.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Rose is reading a book, sitting on one of the benches just outside the pitch, but she stuffs it into her bag when she starts to see the trickle of Quidditch players coming out of practice. The players exit from all sides, but she's seen Scorpius come out this way before and she hopes to see him this way tonight. She hasn't a clue as to what she'll say to him regarding her dream, but she knows she will say something. It was just a dream, but sometimes dreams held truths to them. It hadn't been the first time in her life she'd dreamt of something and found the answer to a question she'd had. And this one had been_ so real_. Her heart had been pounding even after her eyes had opened. It had taken her several moments before she was able to filter out reality from fiction.

There's noise coming from the gates, broomsticks and footsteps amongst chatter. Her eyes seem to find him in an instant, the damp blond hair, the tall built body, the way he walks. She knows it by heart; she would know it in her sleep. She stands up and walks towards him. They were always so careful not to be seen together, but tonight she has a purpose more important than any snog against a deserted corridor or empty classroom. Tonight it was all or nothing.

She walks right up to him and his friends punch him playfully and snicker, which both of them ignore.

"What are you doing here?" he asks her, not unkindly, once his teammates are out of earshot.

"I dreamed of you," Rose says to him, tucking some loose windblown hair behind her ear. "There's something I need to ask you."

Scorpius gives her half a laugh, wipes his brow. "You couldn't have just owled?"

"I could've," Rose says, gathering courage. "But I didn't because it wouldn't have been the same as hearing you say it. The real reason you didn't want to be with me that night, the real reason you don't want anyone to know about us—"

Scorpius leans casually against his broomstick. "We both agreed not to make it obvious we were seeing each other. That wasn't just my doing."

Rose ignores him and continues, "In my dream, you said…you told me that I wasn't Pureblood and that was why we couldn't see each other. I woke up just as you said it and I knew it was true. Isn't it? That's the reason you stopped seeing me, isn't it?"

Scorpius sits down heavily, lets out a sigh. Rose sits beside him, clutching her bag in her hands. "Say it," she whispers fiercely. "I need to hear you say it. When you admit it, I'll memorize everything, the tone of your voice and the way you look at me. I'll recall those words when I think of you and it will help me to forget you. It'll help me pretend I never knew you at all."

Scorpius looks off towards the pitch. "I believe you'd honestly do that. I really believe you would. It's been so easy for you, hasn't it? I'd never have imagined you to be so cold. I wonder does Littlejohn see this side to you, this side that would turn a raging lion to stone."

"Stop bringing him up! He has nothing to do with this conversation, Scorpius!"

His eyes flash as he turns back to her. "I hate him."

"I'm sorry you feel that way. But don't change the subject," she says. "You want a Pureblood. Not me, because of my mixed heritage." She braces herself for it, the truth that would crush her heart.

Scorpius sighs. "What do expect me to do? How do I know what to feel, when I've grown up hearing such disdain about certain groups of people…some of it's bound to rub off on me. I'm their only son and our family has always been Purebloods, generation after generation. To add to that, it's well known our fathers despise each other."

"That's all I wanted to know," Rose says, standing up.

"Where're you going? I thought you wanted to talk!" Scorpius says, grabbing her hand.

"I got what I came for. I don't need to hear anymore!" She jerks her hand from him in fury.

"If you would let me finish, Weasley!" he says loudly. He stands up, moves closer to her. "I _used_ to think being Pureblood mattered over everything else. _Used_ to. As in, not anymore. It's hard to keep those thoughts when you get involved with someone who's...different. It's hard to keep those limited thoughts when you see the most beautiful girl in the world get on the train to Hogwarts and even when you're ten years old, you promise yourself that one day you'll have her for yourself."

"Bollocks. You didn't even speak to me until we were fourteen, Scorpius!"

"_You_ wouldn't speak to _me_! And you're part of the bloody Potter gang! Everyone in school knows your family. I assumed you'd be untouchable. You know my grandfather went to prison and you know my father was once a Death Eater! I thought for sure you'd have no parts of me!"

Rose finds this strange, that he's actually admitting he was insecure over talking to her. She'd never have believed it had he not told her just now. Still, it changes nothing, so she shakes her head. "You should've left me alone from the start, Scorpius."

"And you should've left me alone, Rose," he says. "We should've left each other alone. But we didn't."

His green eyes stare into her indigo blue until she becomes flustered. She turns from him, blinking back tears of hurt as she tells him, "You acted as if you wanted me—"

"It wasn't an act," Scorpius says softly. He touches her hand, gently this time. "I _did_ want you. I want you still."

Her heart beats wildly, but she can't give in just yet. "If that were true, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Scorpius slides his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him. "So let's not have it." He kisses her. Her bag falls to the ground as she helplessly throws her arms around his neck.

_A/N: "I dreamed of you." This line from Rose is actually paying homage to one of my favorite lines from Jaime Lannister in the Game of Thrones series, I believe it came from A Storm of Swords. I give credit where credit's due. If yall aren't reading Game of Thrones, please do._


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: I don't know why but I have written and rewritten this chapter about ten times. I have truly suffered from edit-itis. So here you go before I change things around yet again. _

Chapter 6

The night breeze blows around them. The happiness Scorpius feels just _is_ when he is with Rose. Why did he ever deny it? It was foolishness. He's been wasting time. He holds her tighter, kisses her harder, when she draws in a breath, breaking away. Her brow furls slightly as her eyes search his, worried. She bites the corner of her lower lip.

"What's wrong?" he asks gently.

Her arms are still around his neck. "I don't know what this means," she whispers.

She's so beautiful and he can't resist her. Hell, she came all the way out here to the pitch so close to curfew. He was the Prefect and the Quidditch player; she was neither. She'd risked detention just to get an honest answer from him. He would give her the most honest answer yet.

"It means I love you, Rose," he tells her without hesitation. He leans his forehead to hers, murmurs, "I love you."

"You love me…" she repeats with a soft smile. She closes her eyes, running her fingers through the back of his hair. It sends chills down his back. "Do you mean it, Scorpius?"

"Bloody hell yes, I mean it, Rose. I've never said that to a girl before. Yeah, I mean it."

"I love you, too," she tells him.

He embraces her, lifting her from the ground, kissing her again. He wants to stay here with her forever, in this happy moment. But too soon, the familiar toll of the bell rings back on campus. The night, unfortunately, must come to an end. It's curfew for Seventh Years. They have fifteen minutes to get back. Scorpius grabs her hand. "I have an excuse to be late. You don't. Come on."

"So, we're together now?" Rose asks him as they are walking back.

Scorpius hasn't had a serious girlfriend before. All he knows is flings here and there with whomever he chooses. All the prettiest girls at Hogwarts. Only now he has the most beautiful of them all, and while he's sure of how he feels for her, he's not sure how he feels about the question.

"You know you're my first _real_ girlfriend," he tells her slowly. "I might fuck up."

"Meaning what, exactly? You'll cheat on me with the first girl who bats her eyes at you?" Rose says. There's an edge to her voice but she doesn't release his hand, which he finds reassuring in a selfish way.

"I'll try hard not to, Rose. Honest to the gods, I will," Scorpius tells her.

Rose stops and he fears he's ruined everything by being honest. "So maybe we shouldn't date seriously," she says. "If you aren't ready for it, we can both just keep seeing other people too—"

He knows for a fact other boys at school find her fanciable. He knows she has seen Littlejohn at least twice. His own heart swells in anger, a feeling that washes over him in uncontrollable waves. "No!" he answers sharply. He is the one to pull away.

"No?" Rose asks, raising her eyebrow.

"I said I would _try _not to hurt you. I'm being honest. I'm not perfect at this. My father's cheated on my mum. Loads of times. In fact they've been separated since September. I—"he stops suddenly, realizing he's just told her something he's never told another soul in his life. _Fuck, I've said too much_, he thinks feverishly.

But Rose blinks, her eyes suddenly sad. "I'm sorry, Scorpius. I didn't know that."

"Please don't tell anyone."

She shakes her head. "I would never. I'll never tell."

"It doesn't mean he doesn't love her," Scorpius says quickly. "He does. He'll move back in. He always comes back to her. My mum, I mean. It's just…it's just what men do, I guess," Scorpius mutters, kicking at the dirt.

"Not all men. Not my dad," Rose says gently.

Scorpius groans. His broom feels suddenly like a Hippogriff across his shoulders. "I don't want to hurt you, Rose. I don't. I don't want to be that person. And sometimes I fear we're too different…but then I see you or I hear your voice and it puts all those thoughts to shame. I don't know what to do about you, or us. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've not a soul to talk to about this, except you."

Rose smiles. "That's not exactly a bad thing. I've been told I'm an excellent listener."

"I'm being serious, Rose!"

"And so am I," she says. "We can take our time. We won't rush anything. You just have to trust me, for gods sake, Scorpius. Just as I have to trust you. We have to learn to trust each other."

Trust, jealousy, anger. He's not sure he's built for all these emotions. He's never _wanted_ all these emotions, because he remembers the fights his parents had, the screaming and slamming doors by his mother, the hexes flying through the air, the threats to move out, the times she _had_ packed her bags and had left home for a few days, staying with his Aunt and Uncle the next town over, and he was left in the middle, trying to make amends for them both, defending them both to each other.

"I'll only say this once, Rose," Scorpius tells her right before dropping her off in front of Gryffindor. "I've never given my heart to anyone. So if I say it's yours, well, that means a lot."

Rose smiles. "You haven't said it."

Scorpius leans in to whisper in her ear, "My heart is yours. It's _you_ that I hold on to."

"I won't let you down," Rose tells him, right before she kisses him goodnight.

Something serious has begun, and he knows this and it scares him. Because he knows no matter what, he will always love Rose Weasley. Even in that small place in his heart that knows there's a chance they might not make it.

A/N: _My heart is yours/it's you that I hold on to/I won't let you down/I know I was wrong_…lyrics are by Coldplay, Sparks.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Rose and Scorpius wrote this one themselves, don't blame me for anything. _

Chapter 7

Are there words to describe the way it feels to hold his hand on the way to class, and know that he belongs to her? Rose thinks not. Does the emotion she feels have a name when she leaves her classes for the day to see him waiting just outside, giving her that little smile of his? Rose thinks not.

The project they have together for Advanced Runes is even more of an excuse to sit close and whisper to each other, oblivious to the whole world.

"I could stare at you all day," Scorpius tells Rose as she flips through one of the books they are using to complete their research. She blushes, telling him, "Hush."

"I'm telling Mum and Dad you're with a Malfoy," Hugo taunts her relentlessly during the day. She hurls hexes at him when she's had enough, and he runs away laughing. Roxy just walks around smirking at her all the time. "Thought you didn't _care_ what he did…now look at the pair of you, joined at the hip," she says. But she can't talk, because she's just as smitten with her boyfriend, the Sixth Year who's shorter than she is. Roxy doesn't care that he's short, and Rose is glad to see her happy. It makes things easier to handle when she catches wind of something nasty someone has said about her being with Scorpius.

"They're jealous little twats," Roxy says.

The news spread through Hogwarts like wild fire at first, and Rose was growing quite sick of the dirty looks from other girls for the first week, but now it's nearly Christmas vacation and most students have accepted the pairing. The time passed quickly and the Advanced Runes project is over with. Now it's down to the day before the winter holiday, and Rose and Scorpius are back in his room, a place they have not been together for nearly a month and a half.

Rose sits on the bed with her hair pulled over one shoulder and Scorpius sits in his turning chair at his desk, spinning back and forth absentmindedly.

"How do you feel? You're not nervous, are you?" Rose says, smiling at him.

"I'm not nervous," he says. "You can come here and feel my heartbeat if you want. It's quite steady."

Rose laughs. "I'll take your word for it."

"What do you want to do tonight?" Scorpius asks her.

"I thought we were watching a hologram. But then I _have_ to go back and pack. I'm leaving first thing in the morning and I haven't so much as put a sock into my trunk."

"I'm surprised, Weasley. I'd have thought you'd be more proactive. I've got all my packing done."

Rose sees his trunk stacked neatly against the wall. His school bag is on top of it, his cloak in a neat pile beside the bag. Everything in perfect order. She's not quite as neat, or organized, and tells him so. He laughs, and some of Rose's butterflies fade. "Opposites attract, then," he says. "Well, let's start the hologram before it gets too late. You can pick out the one you want."

Rose goes to his massive collection of movies and chooses one that looks frightening, something with a walking ghoul on the front chasing screaming girls. Scorpius shuts the lights off in his room and tosses a nonverbal spell at the hologram. It enlarges itself to a screen size and plays. He lays down on the bed, pulling her next to him in the darkness. The only light is coming from the dim illumination of the screen. His arm around her waist tightens; he kisses her forehead and then it's as if watching a movie is the last thing on Rose's mind. Pressed against his warm, firm body, she can hear his heartbeat; can feel the warmth coming off of his skin. He smells faintly of soap. She presses her face into his neck, drapes an arm around his stomach. "Being this close to you is all I could ever want," she murmurs. "I could lay here forever with you."

"I think I know some spells that can cast stone. I could make us both into marble, and here we'd be when they find us in the morning," Scorpius says.

"Bollocks," Rose laughs. "You can't charm yourself into a nonliving thing."

"Then we won't lay here forever," he says. He sighs. "It's just as well. Nothing lasts forever."

Rose shakes her head and rubs the hard muscles of his stomach underneath his shirt, thinking. "I don't know about that. I think _some_ things do. Time lasts forever. And whatever is beyond our world. And I think sometimes people can last forever. Like after a person dies, they might be able to come back and live again as something else. Or _someone_ else—"

"Oh, now _that's_ rubbish. Once you're dead, you're dead."

"No, I believe it! I've read lots about it!"

"Well you go on believing that if you'd like," Scorpius says, and starts to chuckle. "It sounds foolish to me."

"It _isn't_ foolish! There are plenty of books written by wizards who've studied such things, and they are credible! There's Sir Thomas Hay and Sir Rickon Louis…and…and, oh _loads_ of others!" Rose says, her voice raising an octave.

"If I can't see it or feel it or touch it, it doesn't exist in my book," Scorpius says matter of factly.

Rose lets out an exasperated sigh. "You have no faith. How sad, to be so young and believe in nothing at all."

"I believe in working hard to get what you want. I believe in mansions and vacations on islands where you don't lift your wand if you don't care to. And Galleons. Loads and loads of them—"

"That is extremely superficial, Scorpius."

"Maybe to you, it is. But that's how I was raised, and I don't see anything wrong with it. Money is all you can count on. I don't give a shite about dying and coming back, I know what I think is real and what isn't!"

He seems upset now; quite suddenly, the tone of their evening has changed. They aren't even holding each other anymore.

"Maybe I should go," Rose says angrily.

"Maybe you should," he tells her. His eyes never leave the hologram. Her chest aches with disappointment. She'd worn her cutest jumper. She'd made sure her bra and panties matched, just in case. Roxy had done her makeup, and done a damn good job. Her lashes were long, nothing would smudge, her lipstick was charmed to stay on her no matter how much kissing she did. Roxy had seen to it. She'd been so sure everything would be perfect tonight. This was the absolute last thing she had wanted, to fight after wondering for so long if they would ever get together. What had gone wrong? Now her throat clenches, a familiar action when she's trying hard not to cry. Her night wasn't supposed to end this way. Yet again, being in his room has led to a disappointment.

"Excuse me, then," she snaps and scoots over him to get her trainers. She bumps hard into him on purpose as she does, and then looks frantically for her coat, which is hanging just as neatly by the door as when she'd left it when she'd first come over. She snatches it down and jams her arms into them. He hasn't said a word; he still hasn't made a move to stop her. She looks back at him, realizes he's not _going_ to make an attempt to salvage the night. Unable to control herself, Rose bursts into tears.

"I don't understand! It's like we can't get it right! Why did we even bother?" she cries, trying to pull herself together. She's shaking in her distress, and it sickens her that he should see her this way, but he may as well. It's her, who she is. Raw. Clothes on, this time.

"As I said, nothing lasts forever," he tells her, sitting up. He folds his hands and looks at her without a trace of emotion. Not anger, not sadness, not regret, nothing. His hair falls partially over his eyes, and if it didn't seem they were ending their relationship, she would have kissed him.

"We haven't even _started_. You lied to me at the pitch. You don't love me," Rose says thickly, wiping her eyes.

"I didn't lie. That's what I was feeling at the time."

"_At the time_? And now you don't feel _anything_?"

"I never said I was perfect. I've got issues. I told you I was no good at this," Scorpius says.

In a final fit of rage, Rose sweeps her arm across his desk, sending his entire collection of holograms flying about. Then she storms from his room, slamming the door hard behind her.

There's no curfew tonight, but it's after ten and she hasn't packed a fucking thing.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Gaaah, it's hard to write a chapter about snow and winter when it's days away from being summer in my world. But I digress…_

Chapter 8

Rose is sullen during dinner with her family. The conversation flows around her; her Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny are over with their children, her cousins Albus, James and their youngest sister Lilly. They chose to attend Wizarding school in Canada to escape the madness of being Harry Potter's children, so Rose's parents are very excited to see them; it's been the first time in nearly six months since so many of them have been together. Rose notices her mother glancing at her during dinner, giving her a hopeful smile more than once, but Rose feels no joy in her heart. It's been a week, and she has not talked to nor heard from Scorpius. She saw him in one of the train carriages full of his Slytherin friends on the way back to Platform 9 3/4, but she hurried past before he caught her looking. She sat with some classmates and pretended to be engaged in the conversation, similar to what she was doing now, but her heart was somewhere near her feet. Roxy was with her boyfriend, which was a good thing, because she hadn't wanted to talk about Scorpius. At all.

"Look at my Rose, how much she's grown," Aunt Ginny is saying as the kitchen is being cleaned. Of course the boys have run off somewhere in the house to play games and cause ruckus (with Lilly not far behind) and Uncle Harry and her father have gone to the archives part of their home to look at something or other; being that both of them are Aurors, there's always some secret business they have to attend to. So it's just the older ladies in the kitchen- Rose, her mother and her aunt.

"She's taller than me now. I believe she's grown since she left in August. With hair just like yours was in school, Ginny," Rose's mother says with a laugh, brushing some of Rose's hair back behind her ears.

"_Mother_," Rose says impatiently, shaking her hair loose. She doesn't like to be fussed over by her mother, because next would come the tears and the _"I-can't-believe-how-fast-you're-growing-up"_ comments. Rose honestly can't deal with any more emotions right now.

"Daughters are funny, aren't they? My Lilly is the same way. She's just as much a tomboy as I was. It's too bad I could make time for another child, I had hoped for Lilly to have a sister. I was always so annoyed about being the only girl growing up, and now she has the same fate," Aunt Ginny says, charming the sink full of hot soapy water. "My schedule is hectic enough with all the Quidditch training. I think this is going to be my last year playing."

"Then what will you do?" Mrs. Weasley asks.

Aunt Ginny shrugs. "Harry says I ought to stay at home. I've had quite a few nasty injuries since I've been playing and he's worried that my legs will give out. I remind him that I grew up with five boys." Aunt Ginny sighs. "Gods, do I miss Fred at times like these. He would be so proud of the children, of how they turned out." She turns to Rose, asks, "How are things at Hogwarts? How are all of you doing? Are you taking care of one another?"

Rose chews her bottom lip because she knows what's coming. "Yes, Aunt Ginny. We do look out for each other. I try not to know what Hugo is doing, he's so annoying at school. Roxy is fine. We're very close. And FJ, I hardly ever see him. He's got a ton of friends. He's always making crazy stuff for everyone. He's just like Uncle George."

"And how is the love life? _You know_…are you seeing anyone?" Aunt Ginny asks with a girlish giggle. And there it is, as her mother joins in as well and Rose swallows her heart back down to her feet. Before she can answer, her mother sneaks in, "Hugo was telling me you were seeing someone, but he didn't say who. Is that why you were so quiet at dinner? _Lovesick_?"

Aunt Ginny and Rose's mother giggle again like schoolgirls and now both of them are staring at her, waiting for her to respond. "Hugo thinks he knows everything," Rose huffs, busies herself with charming the dishes back to their proper places. "I _was_ seeing someone, but it's over now."

"Oh, I'm sorry darling," Mrs. Weasley says, suddenly serious.

Rose shakes her head. "It's nothing to be sorry about. It wasn't that big of a deal between us."

Her mother gives her a firm look. "Well, we certainly know it's his loss."

"It absolutely is, the git! And damn his eyes!" Aunt Ginny says defiantly.

Rose has to smile at how quick they are to take her side. "I was dating Scorpius Malfoy. Was, but not anymore," she says. She watches how the faces of her mother and aunt go from adoration to confusion.

"Scorpius Malfoy? As in, Draco Malfoy's son?" her mother repeats as Aunt Ginny gasps, "_What_?"

"Your father would go mad if he was in here to hear those words. He—"

"There's no need to let him know. As I said, it's over. Scorpius is just a…a… a _confused_ boy. Spoiled, and absolutely full of himself…he's got all sorts of issues," Rose says quickly. She must remind herself of it, and often. He'd admitted it, for gods sake.

"Well, small wonder there. Look who his bloody parents are," Aunt Ginny huffed. She grabbed Rose's face and kissed her cheeks noisily. "Forget him. Forget _all_ about him. He's definitely not worth a second thought."

"I agree. There's bound to be much nicer boys at Hogwarts," Mrs. Weasley said.

"I know. There are. I'm not upset about it. I'm fine, honestly. I was quiet during dinner because I'm actually tired. I had a lot of school work to do before this holiday. So really all I want to do is get some rest," Rose says. Lying.

"Of course, darling. I'll get the rest of the dishes. You go on to bed," Mrs. Weasley tells her. She gives her a kiss once, twice and shoos her out of the kitchen.

Rose bids her mother and aunt goodnight and excuses herself to her room. She wants to be alone to cry over what never was.

* * *

><p>Rose is disturbed from middle of the night sleep by the tapping of what could only be a talon on her bedroom window. She rubs her eyes and sees the time as 1:03 a.m.<p>

_Tap, tap, __**TAP**__!_

"Oh for Gods sake, wait a bloody minute," she mutters, pushes her blankets back and winces at the cold floor touching her unslippered feet. There is certainly a small, black owl peering in at her. They are the fastest messengers for night flying and are often used by school aged wizarding children to send messages back and forth to friends. Rose thinks it must be Roxy, and she pushes her window open, letting in an icy blast of wind and fresh, white snow.

"You're a cute little thing," she yawns to the owl, petting his soft fur. It gives her a small hoot as if to thank her for the compliment as she works the rolled up parchment off its small yellow foot.

_Sorry if I woke you. And I don't know your exact address so I hope this owl has found the right place. I wanted to drop something off for you tomorrow. Let me know if you will see me. You know who this is. _

Scorpius? It _must_ be him. A mixture of pure joy and anger fill her at once. She runs to her desk and grabs a quill.

_How dare you write to me in the middle of the night? I haven't heard from you in a week, you ought to be bloody ashamed of yourself. You can't keep doing this to me. No I _won't_ see you! _

Rose gives the owl and treat, secures the note to its leg and sends it off. She pulls her window closed and gets back in the bed, jerking the covers up over her head.

She wakes up much later in the house alone, which she doesn't mind. Her mother has left her a note in the kitchen. Both her parents are at work and her brother is at Uncle Harry's house. She's to Floo Fone if she needs anything; they will return home at the end of the work day and begin preparations for the Christmas feast and would she mind making the pumpkin pie that her father loves so much, and Roxy left a message for her last night after she'd gone to bed.

Rose fixes herself breakfast, relishing in a peaceful, quiet house. She tries not to think of Scorpius and his blasted note in the middle of the night, tries not to analyze what in hell he was thinking about. She succeeds until she's right out of the shower, pulling on her jeans and fitted jumper. As she turns to brush her hair, she knocks her school bag out of the chair and everything scatters out, including a photograph of she and Scorpius. His arms are around her, and they are both smiling. She remembers the way he held her tight, how she could feel his breath against his neck as he told her, "On the count of three". She pauses for only a second before bending to pick it up. How happy they both look here. She wants to crumple it, because it's all bollocks.

"He's nothing but a piss arse liar!" she hisses to herself, and just as her fingers start to tighten around the picture, the doorbell sounds. Without a second thought, she knows _exactly_ who it is.

* * *

><p>Rose folds her arms and stares blankly at him. He's bloody gorgeous but she can't give in to him just because he's shown up at her door. Her heart races. If she lets him in, gods only knows what might happen. They are alone until six o'clock this evening. It's high noon.<p>

_Why the hell am I thinking about being alone with him now? I'm supposed to be angry with Scorpius. I _am_ angry with Scorpius!_

"How did you figure out where I live?" she demands, just because she has a right to know.

"Who _doesn't_ know where the defeaters of the most evil wizard known to us all lives? I know where your Uncle Harry lives as well, but as I have no business there-"

"So you've been stalking me, then?" Rose says.

Scorpius has the audacity to sigh. "Must I stand out here until your family gets home? Or until I freeze my arse off?"

"You _deserve_ to freeze your arse off!" Rose snaps.

Scorpius' nose and cheeks are red as he pushes his hands deep into the pockets of his coat. "If that's what it takes for your forgiveness, consider it done."

Rose bites her lip. Once he's in, he's in. She can already feel the pheromones between them stirring. Their chemistry is strong, so, so very strong. They come together and their hearts ignite on fire. She can't be sure about his, but then she knows she can. He feels what she feels. They are emotional twins; somehow, someway, they are, in a way she probably could never be with anyone else. And he must feel the same, else he wouldn't be here. Right? She shifts from one foot to the other. He raises those green eyes that she loves so much to hers, and it's done. There won't be any turning back, not this time. She can't look at him any longer as she moves aside to let him in. He stamps the snow off his boots and blows onto his clenched fists.

"Here, give me your coat," Rose says, taking it from him. She's still pissed off, of course, because it's been _days_, yet and still, it's there, that feeling in her heart whenever he's near. She's thrilled he's here, truth be told. There's something positively uplifting about him being in the very place where she grew up. She puts his coat in the closet and stands there, not sure where to take him. If her parents were to come home unexpectedly for lunch and find them in her room, she'd be in a world of trouble. The living area was nearly the same as a bedroom. It wouldn't take much for her to be all over him with the fire blazing bright and the big, fluffy couches. Another apology just might have her jumping into his arms.

"We'll go to the kitchen. I was just making tea," she says.

"Sounds splendid," he says, following her. They walk side by side through the house as Scorpius looks around. "Very nice. How can you accuse me of superficiality when you live in a place like this?"

"I don't brag about it, for one. And if you don't mind, I'd rather not be reminded of our last conversation."

"The owls last night?"

"No, the last one we had in person. When we...when we broke up."

"I wasn't aware that we'd broken up."

"You _said_—"

"I know what I said. I don't recall ever saying the words, 'Let's not see each other again.' I was assuming it was an argument. Anyway, that's one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you. In person."

Rose sighs heavily as they arrive in the kitchen. Scorpius swings himself up onto one of the bar stools surrounding the cooking island in the middle of the kitchen floor as if he's done it a million times before. He gives her a small grin. "What would your parents say if they came home right now?"

"Nothing. We're in the kitchen and I'm putting a pot of water on the stove to boil. We haven't done anything wrong. What's that?"

He's put a small velvet box on the table. "It's your Christmas present. Open it."

Rose blinks. "I don't want it."

She turns from him. Her hands are unsteady and her heart is racing. He does this to her, makes her dizzy with lust and she can't let him see it. He's brought a gift for her, and if he were to ask, she'd strip this instant and let him have her on the floor. She's got to be careful around this one, this boy who could make her lose her wits and her heart.

"Rosie-"

"Don't! Don't call me that!" she snaps, whirling back around.

He's smiling, damn him. "My little flower, don't be like that. At least look at it," he says, with a laugh.

"Why are you doing this? What are you doing here?" Rose suddenly shouts.

"The honest answer or one that's bollocks?"

"Stop it! You're driving me mad!" Rose continues. She shakes her head and pushes her hair away from her face. Scorpius gets up with the box. He opens it to reveal a beautiful golden necklace with a sparkling diamond in the shape of a heart at the base.

"It's all real," he says. He lifts it out of the box. "Will you try it on?"

"Why should I? I'm not a yo-yo. You can't just show up at my house with a diamond necklace and think that makes it all better. Gods, is that what your father does after he's wronged your mother?"

Scorpius' face falls, and Rose knows she's just delivered an unnecessarily low blow. The hand holding the necklace drops to his side.

Rose's face crumples in shame as she lets her head fall to her hands, tea preparations forgotten. "I'm terribly sorry. I was out of line. I shouldn't have said that."

"No," Scorpius says, and sighs. "You're right. He does. Except her gifts are more like...stocks in dragon breeding or shopping sprees wherever she chooses. But that's not why I bought this. I saw it and it made me think of you. I bought it because I wanted you to have it, and that's the truth. I'm here because...I haven't stopped thinking about you since you knocked all my films to the floor."

Rose swallows a hard knot in her throat. "I know my temper can be horrid. Again, I am sorry. If you change your mind about me, that's your absolute right."

"I haven't changed my mind about you. You give up on us so easily. I thought I was the one with issues."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I love you, Rose."

She shakes her head. "Do you know what love is, Scorpius? Because I'm not sure our definitions are the same."

The tea pot screams, breaking their conversation at a most pivotal turning point. Rose returns to the kettle and fetches it from the stove top. She pours the boiling water over the two cups full of tea she has set out, feeling his eyes on her as she does.

"If it means not being able to let a person go...no matter what they say or do, then, yes, I know exactly," Scorpius says once she's set tea down in front of him.

"No matter what I say or do…hmm..and what have I done that's so offensive to you?" Rose asks.

"You think you're justified to say whatever you feel with no repercussions. And you expect me to just let you criticize me for the way I was raised...and allow you talk shite about my father! I told you those things in confidence, not for you to fling in my face once you get angry with me!" he says loudly. "You accuse me of being arrogant, well you're no different! That's why we fought at Hogwarts! I didn't agree with your little ideas about the afterlife and you called it a night!"

"It wasn't just because of our differences in opinion, that's just untrue! And I've never talked shite about your father!"

"You did just now, when I tried to give you the necklace! It _is_ true!"

"I wasn't trying to hurt you, Scorpius. You've just been so inconsistent, this entire relationship has been inconsistent! And I'm tired of never knowing what to expect from you! Just like at school, when you looked me right about the face and claimed you loved me at the pitch only because it was what you'd been feeling at the time. You may as well not have said you loved me at all! You really hurt me! But that doesn't matter to you, does it? You let me walk away!"

"Damn right I did!" he suddenly shouts. "And I'd do it again! I'm not going to fall down at your feet and kiss your arse like everyone else in school, just because your father helped defeat Voldemort all those years ago! Just because you're uncle's fucking Harry Potter! The teachers, our classmates, everyone's a sychophant! Well, I won't be! I could give a shit what your family's fucking done!"

"You act as if I selected my family! I had no choice who my parents are! Neither did you! It doesn't matter, besides! Either we want to be together or we don't!" Rose shouts back.

"Maybe we don't, then. Maybe we shouldn't. Piss on it." Scorpius grabs the necklace suddenly and pushes back from the table, storming back towards the door.

"Scorpius! Wait!" Rose cries, rushing after him.

She catches him right as his hand closes around the doorknob. "Wait! I—"

He grabs her and kisses her, pushing her up against the wall. She can feel his heart beating, and she knows he's ready. So is she.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: If you are offended by graphic content of a sexual nature between two consenting teenagers of age in the Wizarding World, do yourself a favor and skip this chapter. Chapter 10 will be up soon. _

Chapter 9

All the words they want to tell each other are there between their lips. Their bodies are pressed against the wall, his tongue is in her mouth, and his hands are already reaching down to touch her between her legs. Rose stops only to whisper, "Not here." She grabs his hand, leads Scorpius to the back steps, both of them rushing up the winding stairs to her room; she practically yanks him in, the second one on the right. She pushes the door closed and when she turns, he is already on her, and somehow, through insanely intense kissing and desperate, longing touches, they make their way to her bed, collapsing with great urgency back on top of her blankets, thick and soft. Scorpius is on top of her in an instant, kissing her over and over and over.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers and she welcomes it, all of it, grabs him closer by his shirt, moaning against his lips.

In his mind, nothing in the entire world exists except her. She is everything, and has been since the first time he laid eyes on her on that crowded train nearly seven years ago. She was as popular as he was, yet she never gave too much of herself; even behind the shy smiles she often tossed his way, he was able to detect immediately the sensuality she possessed underneath eyes that would not hold his gaze whenever he looked at her.

Breath. Heartbeats. Tongues. Hands. Arms and legs. Rose must have him, all of him, right now. She needs him the way she needs air. Her hands skim down his back, and she boldly lifts his jumper up and over his head, running slender fingers along the warm skin underneath. He helps her out of her own jumper. She reaches quickly behind her and unsnaps her bra herself, tossing it to the floor before pressing her mouth back to his. Rose wastes no time, and because his mouth is so near her ear, she hears when he draws in a sudden, shaky breath as her fingers fumble down to his pants, opening the buttons of his jeans. Her fingers slide inside his pants, close completely around his erection. She is surprised by two things—one that he is this stiff and swollen and it's all because of her, and two, that he is as big as he is. She'd never have imagined it, yet somehow she has known all along. Now his hands are on her hips, tugging her jeans down as she does the same to him. They move quickly; soon enough she is squirming out of her panties. Their bodies are pressed firmly together, her breathing coming in short gasps, because even though she's inexperienced, she wants him so much, so badly. She's excited by this, by him and what they are about to do. She squeezes her eyes shut, whimpers as he shifts her hips, and then she feels it, being entered by him. At first, there is nothing but pressure, but then, a sharp pain tears at her between her legs.

"Oh!" she cries, glancing down at what is happening. His forehead moves against hers; he kisses her face, her neck. He's showing her he's concerned, that he doesn't want to hurt her, that he'll stop if she wants. His arm tightens around her waist; he is hesitating, waiting- but there's no way she would tell him to stop. Just the feeling of being wrapped in his arms relaxes her and she kisses Scorpius again.

"Go on…I'm okay," she whispers. He nods, his eyes steadily locked with hers, then he pushes himself against her, slowly, until his entire length, every delicious inch, is deep inside her. It's the strangest sensation—it stings yet feels good at the same time. She wants him to stop hurting her…yet she wants him to keep moving against her. He is making sounds now, the sounds of love making, his eyes closed as he thrusts himself, back and forth, in and out of her. Pain, pleasure, pain, pain, _pain_, then pleasure…

She holds him against her, raises her legs up around his waist as she moves her hips to meet his. Rose hopes she's doing it right, kissing his shoulder as the friction begins to build, in all the right places, for both of them. Even though she has no one to compare him to, she's decided that it's determinedly the best sex she thinks she could ever have.

"Can I fuck you all day?" Scorpius whispers into her ear. Rose murmurs, "Yes…I _want_ you to…" and he slips and loses himself completely in her world. His arms hold her tight, as tight as he can, and he gives her sudden thrusts that bring her to cries of pleasure…but, they haven't discussed any form of birth control. He can't take the risk of an unplanned pregnancy and neither can she, so he jerks backwards only seconds before he comes, ejaculating on Rose's thighs and the sheets underneath them. Both of them breathing heavily…

Rose wanted him to stay the whole time. She wanted to be right there underneath his body when he released into her. She's slightly disappointed and a little disoriented; she's damp with sweat and feeling dizzy when he moves away and the moment is swallowed up by the afternoon of December 17, to be forever ingrained into her mind for the rest of her life.

"I...I didn't mean to, er, make this much of a mess…Do you want me to get a towel?" he says.

"No," Rose says. She wants to feel his come on her, she wants all of him. Forever and ever, amen. Scorpius lays back down next to her, deliriously happy for the first time in a long time. He loves her. He loves her, he loves her, he loves her.

"We _can't_ fall asleep," she whispers, kissing the top of his head. He laughs, and it causes them both to bounce slightly against the bed. His fingers intertwine with hers. "I know," he says.

She bites her lip, glances down at the beautiful boy laying against her. "Next time…will you stay?" she whispers. Kisses his head again.

Scorpius raises up, looks at her. "I'm sorry. I wanted to...We just need to make sure we have a charm or something…so, you know, you won't get pregnant." Rose blushes at the thought that she is doing things with him that might result in a pregnancy. Such a different world she's in now. Her girlhood is gone; she's a woman now. He's brought her to that place, where she can leave childhood behind.

"What have you used with all the others?" Rose says.

"All the others, well for gods sake, there haven't been _that_ many," he says with another soft laugh.

"How many?" she asks because she wants to know but she doesn't. But she does.

"Er…I dunno…maybe six…"

"Tell me!"

"You're my tenth."

Rose sucks in her breath. Ten is a good number. Sort of. It's even. "So did you do that…with all of them?"

He shrugs, playing with her fingers. "Sometimes. Most of the time. With a few, they told me they'd already taken care of it, so I didn't worry about it."

She feels the burn of jealousy, a red hot feeling so strong her heart clenches. She actually finds herself blinking back tears. The thought of him doing this with another girl, any other girl, is too much to bear. _Oh, gods, I love him too much, already_ she thinks.

"You've gone quiet on me. I've upset you, haven't I?" he asks gently.

Rose shakes her head. "No," she answers quickly. She tries to wipe her eyes, but he leans up on one elbow, sees her.

"Rose? Are you crying?" He looks carefully at her, shakes his head slightly. His eyes soften as he touches her face gently, stroking her cheek with the back of his knuckles. "Listen, Rose. Forget about them. It's in the past. I don't want anyone else, only you. I shouldn't have told you that. The numbers, it means nothing. You mean everything. _Everything. _I'm so in love with you," he tells her, squeezing her hip.

"Me, too," she says softly. They smile at each other, tender and true. Scorpius leans down and kisses her lips before laying back down beside her. Whatever upset feelings she thought she had disappear. She glances at her clock. It's 2:38. There's still time, lots of it.

"Let's do it again," she whispers, blushing.

She prays that the Floo network is ridiculously crowded today, that her brother is having the time of his life at Uncle Harry's and won't return until tonight, that they can make love at least one more time before Scorpius absolutely, positively has to go.

They make it twice.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Rose is in bliss, some paralyzed happy world where every thought travels down a road leading to Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. She spends the rest of the day after he leaves staring absentmindedly at walls with what must be a dazed, faint smile on her face. Yet, when she hears the familiar crack of Apparation, she grabs her fashion magazines and makes a mad dash for the couch, pretending that's the place where she's spent her afternoon, instead of in her bedroom, with Scorpius turning her inside out.

"How was your day, darling?" her mother asks. She stops in front of the mirror in the hallway, pulling off her earrings and dropping them into the small bowl where she always puts them after work. Next she fluffs her hair out of the chignon, dropping the clips that have held her hair into the bowl as well. It's a routine that Rose has come to love, one that she thinks of, takes comfort from sometimes at school when she feels homesick.

"Fine. My day was fine," Rose answers too quickly. "Very r-r-relaxing. I didn't do much at all, just read these magazines." Her heart accelerates; even her vagina seems to have a heartbeat of its own as her mind flashes back to Scorpius tongue kissing her as he comes inside of her that last time. _Shit. I did let him. Roxy, I need her right away… _

"That's wonderful. What should I make for dinner tonight? What are you in the mood for?"

_Scorpius_, Rose thinks, but says instead, "Liver and onions."

"Perfect," Mrs. Weasley answers. "That's your father's favorite, and he's got a late meeting. He'll be starved, I'm sure." She pauses, frowning. "Has your brother gotten home yet?"

"No, Mum."

And off her mother goes for the Floo Fone to track her brother down before starting dinner. Not until she goes does Rose release the breath she has been holding tight in her chest.

* * *

><p>"Where'd you get that necklace? Have you been in Mum's jewelry again?" Hugo taunts her during dinner. Caught unawares, her hand races to her throat, her fingers curling protectively around her gift.<p>

"It isn't Mum's! It was a…a gift from a…a secret admirer!" she says hotly. Rose feels her cheeks burning, but not out of shame.

He had slipped it around her neck right before the last time.

"_Promise me you'll never take it off. That you'll think of me every moment you have it on," he whispered while he was loving her. She remembered nodding, closing her eyes against the pressure of his body against hers. "I swear it…I'll never…" she murmurs_.

"A secret admirer? Some boy is after my Rose? What the bloody hell is this about?" her father exclaims.

"Oh, gods, it's _nothing_, Dad. Nothing—"

"Well, that 'Nothing' certainly looks expensive. Look at how well it's made, I'll bet it's real," her mother says, peering closely at Rose's throat. Rose sits back in her chair. Her food is churning in her stomach. "Was it delivered today, did you say? It certainly is a very _romantic_ gift from a secret admirer," her mother says.

"It's probably from Scorpius," Hugo goes on, laughing. Rose can see his dinner lolling around in his mouth as he points at her with a knife she'd like to stick him in the arm with right now.

"No, it's not! I don't know who it's from! Shutup, Hugo!" Rose shouts.

"Calm down, darling. It's perfectly alright," her mother quips. "It's from an admirer. We don't know _who_ it's from. Maybe Scorpius. Maybe some other boy."

"Scorpius who? Not Malfoy's son. Isn't that Malfoy's boy's name?" Mr. Weasley says, looking around the table. "If that's who you think it's from, you have my permission to burn it in the furnace."

This isn't going well. Rose hasn't thought about the fact that her father might object to her being with him. She bites her lip, clutches her fork tightly. "There is a…strong possibility that Scorpius Malfoy did give me this necklace. And if he did…I'm going to keep it. I _won't_ burn it."

The table goes silent for a moment. Rose raises her eyes to her father's, sees the obvious shock there before she returns to staring at her plate, blinking back tears. She's done it, defended him. Her father doesn't approve, but she doesn't care. She has to make a stand for Scorpius. For, how could she not after what they had done earlier? He was her first. No one would replace him as her greatest love; she could see that now, when she was only seventeen years old. Oh, she needs Roxy so much right now. Roxy would know what to do, she always did…

"Oi, this is disgusting," Hugo finally interjects, making a face. "Can we talk about something else? Anything else, before every bite of the food I've swallowed ends up all over this dang bloody table?"

"Hugo!" Mrs. Weasley gasps.

But her brother has rescued her without even knowing it. Hugo has broken that spell of awkwardness that had loomed just above their heads, threatening to turn the usual peaceful family dinner into something quite the opposite. _Thank you, brother,_ she thinks, and smiles as her mother continues to scold her younger brother for his inappropriate language at the dinner table. Her heart finds a steady beat again.

* * *

><p>Rose spends the night at Roxy's house the following evening. As usual, it's always full out fun and the house stays packed with family and friends. It's well after ten o'clock before Rose finally gets a chance to get from Roxy the advice she needs. Roxy has dragged out some books on spell work from her family's library.<p>

"Don't you worry about a thing. You'll be in the free and clear before this night is through," Roxy huffs, dumping an armload of tomes down on her bed. Rose's eyes stretch wide as she giggles at the title of the first one she picks up. "_The Spells You Thought You Knew, But Didn't: A Witch's Guide to Adolescent Sexuality, Hot Spots: His and Yours, The Pleasure Principle:Doing It Yourself_…oh, my _gods_!"

"Are you really blushing at the title of some books after what _you've_ done?" Roxy says with a laugh.

"That was different! It's totally different when you're…in someone's arms!" Rose says. Her face is warm again; she knows she is red. It seems that's all she's done since yesterday, is blush furiously. Roxy is staring at her with a grin on her face.

"Look at you! You're totally in love with him already!" she squeals.

Rose moans, dropping her head to her hands. "I'm ashamed to admit it…but I think I am! And my dad got mad last night at dinner when I hinted that Scorpius had given me this necklace. He told me to chuck it into the fireplace!"

"Really? I wonder what his parents would say. Wasn't his father a Death Eater?"

"He was. He's only mentioned it once, awhile ago. I think he's really embarrassed by it," Rose says.

Roxy snickers. "And bloody well he ought to be…I can't believe you've gotten involved with someone like him."

"Why? He's sweet…when no one else is around. I mean, he's not as much of an arse as he comes across," Rose says.

Roxy stares at her until they both burst into a fit of giggles. "Stop it, Roxanne! Help me! I can't get pregnant. Find a spell for me! I need to take precautions!"

They pour over spells until they find two- one that will eliminate any traces of a would be fetus and a second that Rose can take monthly to protect herself from any future accidents concerning pregnancy. Normally it would have required parental consent, but Rose and Roxy are intelligent and Roxy has tom foolery in her blood, so the girls whip up both charms in no time at all. The concoction that Roxy makes for Rose to be sure she is "clean" is the color of cat sick and the smell of it as well. Roxy warms the cup up to be kind and holds it under Rose's nose.

"Whatever you do, _don_'t wretch it back up," Roxy warns as Rose takes a deep breath, nods. She squeezes her eyes shut before gagging the potion down. Her stomach immediately turns flip flops, and she feels a burning sensation from scalp to toes. Roxy bursts out laughing at her.

"I'm green, aren't I?" Rose croaks out.

"More purple. But it will pass. I've taken it twice myself, so I know it works. Lie down. You'll be asleep soon," Roxy says as she helps Rose to her bed.

"I'm being the worst guest," Rose mumbles as she pulls the blankets up to her chin, yawns. Just like that, the feeling of wanting to vomit has passed, but in its place is an exhaustion she hasn't known in years.

"Not at all. I'm going to meet Colt in a bit. If you hadn't had to take your potion, you'd have ended up coming along. So it's just as well, as I'm sure you don't want to watch us shag. Which is exactly what we're going to do," Roxy says.

"Colt. That stocky younger year. I thought for sure that was a fling. I can't believe you're still with him," Rose whispers. She's getting sleepier by the second.

"Careful, there. I don't go on about your pale son of a reformed Death Eater. If there _is_ such a thing as ever being reformed from that," Roxy says.

"Oi! That's not fair…"

But that's all Rose manages before she is out for the night.

* * *

><p>Scorpius has left a message on Rose's Floo Fone when she wakes up the next morning, but she doesn't return his call until she is on her way home.<p>

"What are your plans for the day, other than seeing me?" is the way he answers the phone, just assuming she'd drop her plans for him without a second thought. Still, his confidence is one of those things she loves about him.

"It's supposed to snow all afternoon. I'm going to the pitch off Weathersby this afternoon to sled with my family," she says.

"You should come over instead. My mum is out until tomorrow," he says.

"You're only inviting me over so we can shag again," Rose taunts. She waves to her parents in the kitchen as she enters her house, and kicks off her trainers. She walks quickly by them to avoid any questions about who she's on the phone with, heading straight for her room. She gets so nervous talking to him when anyone in her family is around. She's terrified it'll be written all over her face, how she feels for him and what she let him to do her in her parent's house.

"Don't say you haven't been thinking about it," Scorpius says.

"I have. But d'you know what I had to do last night? I had to have Roxy fix me a potion to make sure nothing happens. We wouldn't want to get put out. I've heard they send you to Hogwarts Night School if you get pregnant."

"What tosh. There's no such place."

"No, it's true! They just don't tell the students because they don't want any of us getting ideas that it'd be cute to start a family before we're graduated."

"What kind of potion? Was it safe? Did Roxy know what she was doing?"

"Yes, she did. Her mother is in the Potions business, so Roxy has access to quite a bit. It tasted disgusting. But at least we don't have to worry about anything now. We've got to be careful, Scorpius."

"I'm sorry, Rosie. I'm sorry about all that…I got carried away. If you don't stop me, I can't control myself. You just turn me on so much that I can't think straight...I'm hard right now just thinking about being with you...mmm..."

"Stop it!" Rose shakes her head, yet understands because she feels exactly the same way. "Stop it. You've got to use something next time, is all I'm saying. Or I _won't_ have you again." She can pretend she can refuse him. She can pretend all the day long.

"Yes, absolutely, I'll do whatever you want me to do. I feel like a wanker you had to handle it by yourself. I would have come over if you'd told me about it."

Rose laughs. "And done what? Watched me choke it down? It put me to sleep right afterwards."

"I'd have held you. And watched you sleeping."

Rose smiles again, though she knows he can't tell. Or maybe he can. "You're very sweet, Scorpius."

"No," he sighs, "I'm not."

"You are to me."

"I'm an arse. It's genetic. My father is too."

She pauses. "Did something happen?"

"Why?"

"It's just a strange way to respond to a compliment, is all."

"Rosie Posie, don't over analyze. I'm just talking."

"Alright, then."

"Honestly, Rose, I didn't mean to leave you alone to figure things out. I suppose we can just stay in public places from now on. I won't be tempted if we're around other people. Well, I _will_, but I can control myself much better."

"No, no, I want to keep doing it! I've made, um, arrangements. It's been taken care of. We're safe, but still, you have to use something."

Now Scorpius laughs. "Whatever you say, darling. I should have known there's more to you than meets the eye, the way you knocked my things to the floor when we had that fight."

Rose groans. "Must you continue to bring that up? How many times should I apologize for losing my temper before you'll forget about that?"

"Make it up to me. Let me come over."

"Now? But everyone's home! And I told you, I'm going to the pitch later!"

"Who's ashamed of whom? I thought you'd be wanting to see me, being that you're in love with me and all."

"I never said that!" Rose gasps, but she's smiling.

"Aren't you?"

_Ah, piss on it._ "Yes," she replies. Because dammit she was, and didn't care who knew.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: This chapter will probably make some of you upset, and I apologize in advance if it does. I just sit down in front of my computer and type; what comes out…is what comes out. Secondly, some of you who have read my other stories may have noticed some similarities between them, such as Roxy dating Colt, and the use of Floo Fones. This is just intentional fun. The Floo Fone is just something I made up because I wanted to add a bit more convenience to the way the wizards and witches communicate, especially the teenagers when they are away from school. The Floo Fones are little devices that go on the wands and transform them into phones.  
><em>

Chapter 11

It was the arguing that Scorpius hated the most. He didn't _like_ the silent treatments that went on for days and days, or the sound of his father talking on the phone to the Other Woman, whoever she might be. He didn't _like_ coming into the kitchen and seeing that his mother had ordered their house elf to cook a dinner for two, just him and her, just to spite his father. He didn't _like_ waking up in the morning and coming downstairs to see the mound of blankets on the couch, knowing that once again, his father had spent the night as far away from his mother as possible. Scorpius didn't _like_ it, but he could deal with it over the dreadful shouting, the cursing and hurling of objects across the room.

There were times, just a few, where the fights had turned physical. His mother had slapped his father, his father had snapped her wand in two, he had hurled the pearl necklace given to her by her sister into the fireplace and laughed as it burned away to nothing. When Scorpius had been younger, he always hovered somewhere nearby, hoping with every moment that it would be over soon. He knew he could breathe a sigh of relief when his father whipped out his wand and Apparated in anger, gone sometimes for days on end. Once, when he had been eight years old, his father had shoved his mother; not hard enough to hurt her, but enough to cause her to stumble. Without a second thought, Scorpius had intervened, only thinking of protecting her, the first real love of his life. He had gotten slapped; a quick and hard back hand by the man who was supposed to be showing him what it was to be a man in the first place.

"You mind your own bloody business!" his father had roared as Scorpius held his cheek, his eyes filled with tears of hurt and confusion. But then, there she was, Mrs. Malfoy, his mother, with her arms around him, moving faster than he'd ever seen her.

"Strike him again, and it'll be the last thing you ever do," she'd said. Her voice had been so deadly calm. Scorpius had been more afraid of the look in her eyes; they'd been filled with a determination and rage he'd never thought she was capable of. _My mother is stronger than she looks_, he remembered thinking. _She is stronger than she looks._ It must have been that moment when Scorpius knew what he wanted in a woman; someone tough, a fighter, not a woman to cry and shrivel up under pressure.

"Your threats are _nothing_ compared to what I've lived with, what I've been through. Look at you…huddling over him like a mother hen. Only the strong survive," his father had said. Only the strong survive; it was the mantra of Mr. Malfoy's life, the prayer he'd clung to since long before Scorpius was even born.

His parents spent some time living apart that time, but that holiday season, the Malfoy family had spent three weeks in Australia, pretending that everything would be alright again. Mrs. Malfoy tried on and ordered robes in every color and got facial and body massages every night. Scorpius watched his father get drunk and then followed him onto the night beaches, where he took long walks, firing his wand at the baby turtles that crawled on the sand, trying desperately to make their way to the water.

"Don't kill them, Father," Scorpius said uneasily.

"Either this will kill them or what's out there will," his father replied, stinging another small turtle onto its back, "Life is a kick in the arse. Only the strong survive. They may as well learn it while they're young."

* * *

><p>What no one knows, not even his best friends Thomas Crankton and Eugene Edwards, is that Hogwarts is a refuge for him, a place where he can get away from it all, escape the house that can easily be a tomb, for there was no love inside it, except what existed between he and his mother. Could he say he loved his father? Well, yes and no. He loves his father in a way that is difficult to describe, almost as an image, an idea in his mind about the hard faced man with a past so dark it's started to show in the lines on his face. Scorpius knows a little—that his father still bears the mark of the former Death Eater symbol on his arm because it won't come off, no matter what spells he's tried, and that he never talks about it, ever. He knows that after the war, nothing was the same for his father, that he lost many people that he had loved. He may have lost his ability to love completely. Scorpius can't remember his father ever being affectionate with him, ever taking him to see the Quidditch matches or showing him how to ride a broomstick, even. He'd learned from uncles, from fathers of his friends, a few times from his Grandfather, who he's sorry to say he has a better relationship with. Scorpius knows that all he's <em>ever<em> known about his father is that his father is an angry, lonely man.

"You don't get along. Why don't you just leave him?" Scorpius says impatiently to his mother after another nasty argument the night he gets home for the Christmas holidays. He shoves his hands in the pockets of his pressed trousers. Always so neat on the outside, picture perfect, never a hair out of place, never a wrinkle in his robes or clothing. Old money, new money, more money than the gods to spend on whatever he fancies, whatever he wants. But that is all he has. The more perfect he appears, the less suspicious others will be that his real life, his life away from school is actually dysfunctional. It's shite. He's got the next three weeks off, and he's needed the rest because he does work hard to earn top marks, but it's his first night back and his parents are at it again. He looks around at the gigantic bedroom belonging to them; he's seen all of his life, and he fears this might be the last time he does. His mother is wiping her eyes with a scarf. She's been crying. Scorpius thinks she's too beautiful to cry. He wants so desperately for his mother to be happy. He'd give anything.

"Would you come with me?" she asks him. She raises her blue eyes to his, and there it is, the Anything. Maybe she's had enough, so much so that she doesn't love his father anymore; it hurts him to the core, because, for fuck's sake, it's nearly Christmas, but he nods, and tells her, "Absolutely."

"It means Christmas will be just me and you. My side of the family is in France for the holidays. I can't go, I've got to catch up at the Ministry. With the re-election coming up, I've got to help get ready for the campaign. I won't set foot at the Malfoy's Manor. If you want to go, you can—"

"No, Mother. I'm yours. I go where you go. If you never want me to speak to him again, I won't," he tells her.

"That is your choice. You are his son. I just can't be his wife," she says.

Something in his heart folds, like a dying leaf. "I hate him," Scorpius says, and means it. His father has ruined everything, his Christmas, his family, his whole life.

And so they pack their things, her spells flying throughout the house in a haze of blue green, because she wants to be gone by the time he returns from work. It's a low blow, and she knows it and so does he, but she wants to leave her mark, a final 'Fuck you'.

"Where are we going?" he asks her as she pulls the front door to their home closed. It's decorated so nicely for the holidays; his mother always took such care to see that lights and wreaths were in front of every window, all twenty four of them showing in the front, but it was a farce, because the house looked as if it should have just as beautiful a family living in it. From the outside, they seemed so perfect. Wealthy, intelligent, good looking, the entire family. Except they weren't a family, not anymore.

"We're going to rent a floor at Kensington Palace until I get things figured out," his mother says. "And I _will_ figure things out. So don't worry."

She charms a sort of powdery pink ring around them both along with their bags, grabs his arm, and POOF! They Apparate into the cold morning air as if they were never there to begin with.

* * *

><p>Mrs. Malfoy makes a run for Gringotts to transfer the gods only knew how many Galleons into a separate account as soon as they've somewhat settled. It is then when he Floo Fones Rose. She doesn't pick up, so he leaves a message and then goes to Thomas' house to dabble in Butterbeers and the Muggle cigarettes Thomas refers to as "joints" that makes everything hazy and calm. There're others over as well, as usual, because his parents own several businesses and there's never any adult supervision, so anything goes, all day, every day.<p>

It isn't until Scorpius has smoked himself into a complete stupor that he feels like a normal seventeen year old boy again. He leans back into a large couch and lets the noise from the day time gathering drown everything around him out. He sees Rose clearly in his mind. His eyes drift closed and he can feel her arms around his shoulders, back at her house, in her room, inside her.

"_I love you. I'll love you until the day I die," _she'd whispered in his ear.

It scares him, that anyone could love him that much. What had he done, _really_ done, to make her feel this way? Other than the necklace, which he'd bought with stolen Galleons from the cauldron his father thought no one knew about under his desk at home. But nothing about Rose gives him the impression that she could be bought. And everything he knows about her tells him that her family has just as much money as his, if not more. What did she tell him that for? What does she love about him? What could she possibly love about him? He's warned her. He's no good at relationships, he's not sweet, and he's played games with her. So why would she tell him that? He can't figure it out, and before he knows it, he's biting his nails, a habit that almost isn't.

"You aren't _there_ yet," a girl's voice says.

"What?" He turns his head to see Nicolette Trisbane sitting next to him. She's a Sixth Year from Hufflepuff, and she's shagged her way through half the Slytherin Quidditch team. She holds her hand opened, her pink manicured nails poking into his skin as she nudges some white pills towards him. "Try one. Just _one_ will have you on another planet. Go on, we've all already taken some," she says with a grin. He's high as a bloody kite, and something in his gut tells him not to trust her. Then he thinks about his past few days, what shite they've been and before he knows it, he's taken a pill and has swallowed it down Butterbeer.

"There's a good lad," she says, and pats his arm. Scorpius can feel his heart rate accelerate, that fast. The room starts to echo and his vision blurs a little. He blinks several times, rubs eyes he thought were aching to close, but now he's feeling wide awake yet underwater at the same time.

"So, Malfoy, how did your semester go? You did well during the Quidditch season. I was paying attention to that," Nicolette says. There are two of her, then one, then two again and then one.

"My semester…" he slurs. "Ahh, it went pretty fucking well. They always go well. I had a scout come to a few matches. I might get picked up to play professionally. If not, I can expect to get a job right after Hogwarts. I've already got an internship lined up at the Ministry. I mean to practice law." He feels the urge to smoke again, so he sits up, grabs his grass roll and lights one end, inhaling deeply.

"Brilliant," Nicolette coos as she takes the joint from his fingers, helps herself to it, careful not to exhale in his face. She hands it back to him, but he shakes his head with a small laugh.

"You've got lipstick on it," he says. "So I guess it's yours now."

"That's not the only thing I can leave my lipstick on, Scorpius," she says softly, giving him a wicked little smile.

"Is that right?" he chuckles. _Some girls just don't give a royal fuck._

Rose. She would. His beautiful flower. He shouldn't love her, he isn't right, he doesn't know any better, but despite it, his heart accelerates at the thought of her. She is there, if only for a moment, and it throws him for a loop. He glances around, just to be sure.

"Aren't you feeling it yet? It makes everything sooo wonderful times a thousand," Nicolette is saying. Her hand is on his leg, and she tucks some sandy blonde hair behind her ear before she leans forward and kisses him.

She's right, it does heighten his arousal. He can't believe he's already hard and it's a shame that his body has betrayed him in this way, because he knows if Rose could see him right now, she'd be more than upset.

"Wait, Nicolette…" he says, and turns his head.

"What? Is it your girlfriend? As if I'll tell her. I _won't_. Don't worry about that. It'll be our little secret. Look around. Everyone's just here to have a good time before the snow storm," Nicolette says. Her shirt is low cut and he can see her breasts about to pop out. He glances around. It does seem like everyone in the room is close to shagging. He can even see two girls snogging, back by the fireplace. His mind is spinning. He can't think straight.

"What snow storm," he mutters before Nicolette grabs his face and kisses him again.

* * *

><p>That night Scorpius lay in the second bedroom of the room he's trying to make his own at Kensington Palace and half listens to his mother on the phone to his Aunt Daphne, filling her in on what's she's done, nearly drained the account and moved out, and no she hasn't heard from his father yet and on and on.<p>

He had a bruise on his throat from Nicolette, but he's charmed it away. He's cheated on Rose, and he's sick with frustration because he doesn't understand himself, why he is like this and so he blames his father for being a fucked up individual.

_I didn't shag her at least. She can't get too mad, if she does find out,_ he thinks. _She says she loves me. If she loves me, she'll forgive me. So maybe I should tell her. Or maybe I shouldn't. I've told her I love her. But maybe I don't love her if I did what I did. Damn her, I've told her I can't do this. But how can I go on if she leaves me for good? She ought to leave me…_

On and on it goes; it keeps him from sleeping. When Rose doesn't call him back, he worries even more that she knows.

The next morning is December 20, five days before Christmas and Scorpius' mother goes to work until three. She wants to pick out a Christmas tree once she gets home, and he says yes even though he's not feeling anything at all about the upcoming holidays. Their clothing is strewn about the Palace because his mother won't allow the house elves to come in. She's suspicious that one of them will send word to his father where they are staying, and she isn't speaking to him. She refuses to answer her wand when it goes off and it's him, and she has forbidden Scorpius to answer as well.

"Let him spend Christmas with his trollops. He'll learn, just because he can't be happy about anything, doesn't mean we have to be. We're better off without him," his mother tells him.

But now his wand is buzzing again and there's snow falling outside and his head is aching from guilt and a hangover, so Scorpius answers.

"Damn you, boy. You know I've been trying to reach the two of you for the past three days. Where the hell are you, and don't you lie to me or I'll cut your funds off. I'll collect every article of clothing you've got, I'll take every polished robe and new textbook and give you scraps from the Boys Home in London. I'm a stronger wizard than you, don't think for a second I can't and won't do it. You'll go back to Hogwarts in tatters," Mr. Malfoy answers.

"Happy almost fucking Christmas to you, too," Scorpius says.

"I'm still your goddamned father, you owe me respect! I don't know what lies your mother's been putting into that arrogant head of yours, but she can't do this to me, the shifty little bitch! _**She will not win.**_ She can't go into my account and clear it out. I've had the goblin who allowed her access fired, he'll never work near a bank again. I'm not going to stop until it's been returned, every single Galleon," Mr. Malfoy shouts. "Does your mother honestly think that she's gotten away with this? Tell her, Scorpius, you tell that woman that she does _not_ want to get into a custody battle with me. She doesn't have the fucking brain capacity to get an attorney worth a shite, and I don't give a damn who she's shagging at the Ministry! I'll leave her with absolutely nothing, do you hear me? _Absolutely_ _nothing_!"

Scorpius listens to his father ranting and raving until he's had enough, and then he hangs up his Fone. He goes to his room and contemplates breaking his wand in half, but then he wouldn't be able to complete his lessons at school or get around or Apparate, which he can do since he's of age and he's off campus grounds. Without Apparation, he wouldn't be able to see Rose. He misses her right now, her smile and her laugh and the way her blue eyes stared at him when he'd first come over her house, trying to decide whether or not to let him in. He swallows the hard lump in his throat as he recalls with perfect clarity how he'd known they would make love that day, that he would have her virginity after deciding weeks prior that he wouldn't be the one. How could he have done it, kiss Nicolette, let her suck him off, just because he was on drugs?

There's too much of this. He's only seventeen; he's just a boy, a wealthy one, and his life should be perfect, not the fucking mess that it is. He doesn't want to be alone. He knows exactly who he wants, and as if something invisible connects them to each other, there she is, returning his call. The curved R flashes in the air, tiny puffs of smoke that of course form the perfect rose. Rose. He's so happy to see her signature call that he activates the Fone on his wand at the second ring.

"What are your plans for the day, other than seeing me?" he says, as if it's just another day in his life, as if nothing is wrong. He just wants to lose himself in her voice and her arms, in her very world, but he's just not the type of boy to say so.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

What starts out as a drug induced blowjob from a girl Scorpius cares nothing about becomes a quick shag the following weekend against the cold tiles of Thomas' bathroom floor.

"It's alright, the floor I mean. I'll have _you_ anywhere," Nicolette pants as he rolls away from her, grabs the stills he's started smoking, lights up. He hates himself.

The hatred continues when he does it again two days later, and then he goes with another girl a week after that.

Scorpius isn't sure how it happens-it could have been the way he tagged along with Rose's family when they went caroling, actually bundled up and went door to door singing songs he hadn't thought about since he was seven years old. He didn't even know all the words to Deck the Halls. Her family had memorized every song. And afterwards, laughing, they'd returned to Rose's home for hot chocolate and cookies that had been made by Mrs. Weasley. The cookies were delicious, baked with oatmeal and honey and chunks of dark chocolate. His favorite. Rose must have told her mother. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had made him perfect cookies.

"You've improved, Hermione. By gods, this is the best batch yet!" Mr. Weasley had exclaimed, grabbing another cookie.

"I've made _plenty_ of cookies you haven't been able to keep your hands out of and you know it's true!" she'd retorted with a laugh and a playful swat with a kitchen towel.

Rose has a wonderful, perfect life.

Scorpius watches the interaction and for a split second, his heart aches. He glances behind him, at their nearly ten foot tree, lit with a thousand lights, a thousand spinning tops and miniature witches and wizards zooming around it on tiny broomsticks, peppermints and candy canes and ornaments made from family photos both old and new. Her family is so caring, with so much laughter and actual dinners with everyone seated together at the table, and seeing all of this makes Scorpius painfully aware of how very different his own life is, as his mother gets home late in the evenings and orders room service to be brought up for him, but eats nothing herself.

"I ate at the office, darling. So it's all yours. I'm tuckered out, I'm going to head to bed. I love you, and if your father calls you, don't answer. He's likely to be tapping the conversations for our court date next month," was her classic response before she collapsed into her suite room of the hotel they now called home.

Scorpius eats alone. He gets used to it.

He feels himself starting to push Rose away, and he knows she doesn't understand it and neither does he because she has what he wants so badly, that family life he's never understood until he met her. Her love. Her body and her kisses. He doesn't cry because he's made of sterner stuff (or so he thinks) and when he yearns to be with Rose, he goes out with his friends instead, other rich lads with nothing to do except fuck and snort Muggle powder up their noses, get drunk and sneak into pubs with fake identification.

He cheats on the love of his life, the one he treasures so dearly his heart burns when he thinks of her. But it isn't enough to stop him deceiving her, because he's fucked up. Hell, he bloody warned her, it wasn't his fault. Nothing was ever his fault.

Christmas comes and his mother is too exhausted to get up, but Scorpius knows she's in her room crying again, so Scorpius opens his presents alone and she doesn't stop him. New robes, new quills, a box of his favorite pumpkin spice muffins wrapped in a white bow. A bag of Galleons. Things, things, always new _things_ with no love in between. It hurts. He hurts.

She's sent him an expandable hologram holder ("So they won't be available for me to send flying about"), a framed picture of the two of them from the morning of caroling, and two tickets for front row seats to the Quidditch Semi Finals coming up in the spring. His favorite, the gold embossed notebook with initials, one he could see himself using in his office as a practiced lawyer to keep his clients in order.

He's worthless, a sack of shit— too far from perfect, but she is exactly so so he knows what he has to do, because it's only right.

He hasn't even the courage, in the end. Why would one knowingly destroy their own heart? Why would one intentionally cause pain to himself?

He's spent years protecting his heart. It's the one thing he _is_ perfect at.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

She hears from Roxy who heard from Lisette who heard from Merriam who was _there_ that night that Scorpius went to the bathroom with Nicolette and they didn't come out for nearly twenty minutes. And Nicolette couldn't wipe the grin from her face afterwards, even though Scorpius ignored her the rest of the party.

"Don't say I told you, but you need to ask him about it. If it's true, you've got to ditch him. Immediately," Roxy urges.

Rose refuses to believe it—until he stops returning her owls and Fone calls. When she really thinks about it, he'd started acting strangely after he visited with her. She couldn't figure out if he'd somehow been offended by something someone in her family had said or done. There was nothing that stood out. Wasn't he laughing with everyone and blending in? She remembered him looking sad once, maybe twice, after they'd returned to her home, but she couldn't remember anything happening to make him feel that way.

With some careful investigating, she learns another shocking fact. He and his mother are staying at Kensington Palace, for Gods sake. How long has he been there? And he never breathed a word of it to her! She waits until it's beyond obvious he's being a coward about the whole bloody thing, and three days before the second semester starts, Rose catches the train to the building.

Scorpius is just coming down the steps as she's walking up to the entrance. He stops dead when he sees her.

She doesn't give him a chance to say anything. "Why haven't you called? Or owled me?" Rose explodes angrily. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," he says.

"Nothing? Then why are you here? Why aren't you home?" Rose demands.

He sighs rudely. "If you must know, my parents split. I've been testifying in court the past few days, making my father out to be the biggest arse in London because that's the only way my mother will get full custody of me. And then Mum and I have to find another place to live. Any other questions?" he asks. She can't believe all that he's telling her, but what scares her more is the coldness coming from his eyes.

Snowflakes begin to fall. They land on her eyelashes and she can see them on his too, her beautiful boy, the one she can feel she's losing with every passing moment. She blinks the gentle snow away, taking a step closer to him. "You could've told me, Scorpius. I'm here for you, I'm always here for you—"

"Here for me to do what? What could you possibly say to make it right? That you love me? That you need me? D'you think that would heal everything, make it all better?" he says sharply. "Well, it doesn't. Your feelings don't make my life any less fucked up or yours any more perfect."

How could he say such a thing?

"But…it's all I have, is my love for you," she says, choking on her words. "It was good enough before!"

He shakes his head dismissively. "I don't give a fuck anymore," he says angrily. "About _anything_."

"What are you saying?"

"You're so bloody brilliant, so you should understand perfectly what's going on here."

Oh, gods...how could he do this? Why?

She lifts her chin, trying to stop the tears but they come, to fast to catch. She feels them rolling down her face, so cold against her skin she can feel it going down, down, down just like her heart and soul. "Is it true about you and Nicolette? Were you going to tell me?"

He doesn't answer and her heart breaks right there. She gasps in shock, head dropping in her understanding, the finality of what is, what cannot be changed. "I'm not what you want after all," she whispers. She can taste the salt of her sorrow. "I've tried to be there for you, the gods know I have. I've given my _all_ to you…for you. And I—I can't anymore. You don't care about me. You don't care about us, and you know what? I can't keep letting you hurt me. You won't say the words but your actions speak for what you won't tell me."

He nods, lighting a still, says nothing, not even looking at her. She watches him inhale, blow smoke out.

_Please tell me I'm wrong, please just tell me you need a day or two, but you want to work it out. Please. _

He remains silent.

A flood of tears, an entire river of them pool her eyes as she says softly, "I _love_ you."

She can feel the darkness in her heart, so she goes to him before it takes over completely, hugs him quickly, kisses him on the cheek.

"I'll never forget you," she breathes, as she takes a step away from him, the first of many. "Or us."

* * *

><p>The first few weeks back at Hogwarts are difficult for Rose, to say the least.<p>

"Shh, darling. Shh, it'll be alright," Roxy coos to her, arms around her while she sobs herself to sleep every night. Every single night.

She can't concentrate in classes because all she can think about is him. Her teachers speak and her ears turn the words into mindless buzzing. Bzzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzzz. They call on her and she swallows before asking, "Sorry?" She has no classes with him in their final semester of Hogwarts, but in a way that makes it _worse_, because she conjures up in a frantic mind what he's doing and who he's doing it with every moment of the day. She loses weight because she can't eat. Food tastes of paper, especially when it's lunch or dinner time in the hall and she sees him at the Slytherin table, playing around, talking and laughing as if he hasn't a care in the world. As if she never meant shit.

"Don't give him the satisfaction. Don't stare at him, _don't_ let him see you cry. He's acting as if he could care less. You do the same!" Roxy whispers, clutching her hand tightly at the table.

Rose's clothes have started to sag on her body when Hugo meets her one day after classes.

"I'm telling Mum," he warns, looking around to make sure they have privacy.

"Telling her what?" Rose mumbles.

"That you're not eating and you're starting to resemble a dang bloody skeleton!"

She stares blankly at him, lifting her arm up to inspect her now baggy sweater sleeve. "Oh," she says. Coughs. She's cold, so cold these days...

Hugo sets his mouth in a firm line for a moment, looking very much like their father, before he leans closer to her. "Look, you shouldn't let him do it to you. He's not worth it. You're my sister. I'll fight for you if I have to, so fuck him. He's a twat. You don't need him, you oughtn't think of him anymore. Who cares if he's loaded and popular? So are you. If it's a bloke's love you want...well, you've got me and dad. That can be enough, for now anyway. Don't let Scorpius do this to you anymore, Rose."

She blinks, and something in her heart holds on to that shred of advice for dear life. She grabs him, hugging him tight.

"Thank you," she whispers. "I love you."

"I love you, too. If you waste away because of him...I'll...I'll _kill_ you!"

And she's able to eat again at dinner that evening, if only a few bites.

* * *

><p>Winter melts into the beginning of spring and the temperatures start to rise. Rose has allowed her friends to give her a makeover, and her hair is shorter now, to her shoulders instead of hanging by her waist. Her friends help her set it in big rollers in the mornings so that it shines and bounces with every step. It's different, but she likes it. She needs different.<p>

"It's pretty. But I'd think that if you had no hair at all," Daniel says to her. He reaches out, touches her hair gently, twirling it around his finger, and she lets him. It thrills her to see that Scorpius has just passed them and he must have witnessed Daniel flirting with her, though he doesn't turn to make sure.

She's not sure why Daniel still likes her, but it's obvious he does, so when he asks to escort her to the semester field trip to Hogsmeade, she accepts.

"It'll be fun, you'll see. Make it a day to remember," her friends tell her.

Daniel holds her hand the entire time and she tries to feel something, honest to the gods she does. In the back of her mind, she's hoping to see Scorpius or some of his friends, otherwise what's the point, and when she doesn't, it depresses her.

"I know you've had a bit of a rough breakup," Daniel tells her before he drops her off at her dorm. "But I can wait until you're ready. I like you, Rose."

She nods. Daniel is kind and she likes him, too, but it's not the same.

Scorpius is haughty, confident. His smiles come and go so quickly you had to catch them when you could, but when he laughed, his dimples made him look angelic.

Daniel doesn't have dimples.

With Scorpius, the chemistry between them existed on another level entirely, another realm. She gave; he received. Whether they sat together or apart in class or the library or in the dining hall, he always knew when she wanted his attention, and he turned to meet her eyes. _I love you_, he would say without words. _I need you._

Rose is never sure what Daniel is thinking, and sometimes he doesn't get her at all. Scorpius understood everything about her. They were two hearts with one mind.

The next weekend, Rose and Daniel are kissing on his bed, all alone in his Prefect room. He won't go further than sliding a hand up her jumper, and she has to place his hand on her breast to let him know it's okay to touch her. Scorpius was always aggressive when they fooled around, but in a way she loved. He loved to tongue kiss Rose, and it was always a sure turn on for her, but Daniel doesn't use his tongue at all. When she and Scorpius lay together, he whispered dirty little things to her, which she absorbed like desert sand in rain. He moaned when they made out against the deserted corridors of Hogwarts, cried out when their bodies were pressed together under sheets. He kissed her with his eyes partially opened, hands on her hips in those precious moments before they parted ways for the evening.

Daniel does none of these things. He's always quiet, even on the night she decides to be intimate with him. They have sex but it's meaningless to her. She lays there and lets herself go numb. He asks her to go steady and she agrees though her heart is not in it. He holds her hand in public, kisses her goodbye when he drops her off to class and when she passes Scorpius in the halls at school, her heart crumbles up and blows away a little more as he pretends not to know her at all.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"_It's all I have, is my love for you." _

He thinks himself a man, and his father always told him that men don't cry, but that first night after she leaves him, he does just that.

* * *

><p>He stares at his wand. He's so close to just doing it, just ringing her up and begging her to come back, to forgive him. But forgive what? He hasn't changed. He's still hurting all over and his heart is broken twice over— once because of her and once because his family has been shattered. He is damaged; his heart is full of holes. How could a person like him give anything significant to her, a girl who's family still ate their supper together, who's parents didn't hate each other?<p>

Oh, Scorpius _has_ things to give: fear, jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity. But what does Rose need those for? What would she do with them, should he offer it to her, in a prettily wrapped box, if he'd the cheek? _Here I am. This is me, in all my fucked up glory._

He has nothing to give, which is reaffirmed when his mother breezes into the room he's undecidedly claimed as his own these past few weeks. His mother has become quite thin, but she's got a look of triumph in her eyes this afternoon. Scorpius braces himself for the words that will destroy him just in time; it's over, she says, and she's won him in custody. She and his father have reached an agreeable settlement.

Scorpius nods, knowing in the blink of an eye his life will never be the same again.

"Come on, darling. Get your things packed. I can't stand the sight of these rooms another moment. We've been living like paupers, with no house elves to clean after us. It's been a disgrace, but I'll make it up to you," she says. "We're going to stay with my sister until I find a permanent address."

"Where?" Scorpius asks, following her lead in picking up their belongings, charming them into trunks.

"As far from your father as possible," his mother replies.

* * *

><p>"She's just a foul little bitch, is what she is," Mr. Malfoy says angrily, handing him things. "She's a bloody whore, your mother, and she'll lie to you about it but she's been shagging the Minister for the past year. Of course I had her investigated, to the fullest extent. That's the only reason she didn't want you in court, except the times she wanted to vilify me." His face is angry, pale.<p>

Scorpius rubs weary eyes. "Please...don't...please don't speak about her like that. She's still my Mum—"

"I don't give a royal shit! She doesn't have the right to keep me from my own son!" He holds up a jumper, one of Scorpius' old ones. "D'you still wear this? I bought this for you, didn't I?"

Scorpius accepts the jumper slowly, carefully. He remembers the day he got it. How proud he'd been, made the Seeker for Slytherin. How proud his father had been. It was one of the rare times Scorpius remembers his father's laughter.

In a rush of emotion, Scorpius reaches suddenly for his father, hugs him tight. "I love you, Dad. I'll still come see you. Don't worry. The next time there's a holiday, I-I-I'll stay with you. I promise."

Mr. Malfoy says nothing, just stands there awkwardly until Scorpius lets go.

"Have a good semester, boy," his father tells him as he prepares to leave the house he'd been born and raised in, for good. "I'll be seeing you at graduation, I suppose."

"You bet," Scorpius says. He backs away, getting one good last look. The tall windows with the rounded top. The black slanted roof. The front door, thick and heavy cast iron, adorned with security charms Scorpius had been able to reprogram within days, though he allowed his parent's to think him deceived. He needed that one last look of living with his father, the man he wanted so badly to adore, yet that one pushed him away.

His father stands there watching him, hands shoved deep into his pockets. How much older he looks now.

"With _honors, _Dad!" Scorpius calls out.

His father nods, lifts one hand in a half wave, watches him go.

Scorpius pushes away what he loves as well. In fact, it is of _this_ _one_ and the thought of _her_ that gives him the final strength he needs to climb into the coach his mother ordered for him, and to ask the driver to pull away from the only life he's ever known.

* * *

><p>He uses the embossed notebook Rose bought him to write letters to her. Sometimes they're poems. He doesn't intend to ever let her see them, because they're broken up now, and he's almost certain they'll never even speak again, that she hates him, but somehow, he finds the process soothing, and instrumental to his healing anyway.<p>

_Rose, you are my everything_

_my entire world_

_my essence of being_

_Rose, do you know why I pushed you away?_

_I hadn't the words to tell you_

_how much I needed you to stay_

_so stay_

_Stay forever_

_Rose_

_Rose_

* * *

><p>He and his mother move to a new home, an hour and a half outside of London. It's quiet. He adjusts to the quiet. He still eats alone, which he has always hated. He misses her every day.<p>

* * *

><p>Scorpius is glad to return to school, the one place where he belongs, his familiar and comfortable world of jammed schedules, and lessons, assignments and Quidditch, broken quills and shenanigans with his classmates. Most of all, everywhere he goes, they are calling him. They always want him to be around, they would never leave him alone. They, they, <em>they<em>, whether true friends or not, it only matters that he's surrounded with..._worship_. It only matters that he's surrounded by—what he had thought before Rose—_love_.

Scorpius never eats alone at Hogwarts, and the dining hall is one of his favorite places— until he looks across the way and sees her, all her friends around her, occasionally turning in their seats, giving him dirty looks.

_They all want me dead and I know she must as well. _

Rose doesn't ever look at him these days, but he knows she must feel it, the way his very soul seems to lunge at the sight of her red hair. It's an excruciating feeling, knowing he's lost her and it's his own fault. He couldn't handle it, he couldn't handle anything and he was a coward in the end. He deserves to suffer.

He spends time in the evenings writing. To her, about her.

_This, what I feel_

_too beautiful to be real_

_too sad to make me happy_

_You've left me_

_I'm scum_

_I let go_

_And now I know_

_with you was the first time in my life_

_I ever knew love_

* * *

><p>She cuts her hair, seems to have lightened it too. It catches the sunlight and shines like a star, the same as her smile. He notices. He's still in love with her. He'll always want her.<p>

* * *

><p>Time goes on—for one, for all.<p>

She doesn't even so much as acknowledge him anymore, and it's just as well. He wouldn't know what to say even if they were friends.

He has a few interviews from some Quidditch coaches; they want to see him on the pitch even though the Hogwarts season has ended. It's after one of these interviews, after he's showered and shaken hands with the prospective recruiters that he's walking back to Slytherin—and he sees her with Daniel, holding his hand, walking towards Gryffindor. Not a care in the world.

Scorpius isn't prepared to handle it. He surprises himself when his vision becomes cloudy—he realizes that they're his own tears, blinding him. Keeping him from seeing the ugly truth.

He _can't_ see it, her walking with _him_, her belonging to someone— anyone— else, so he turns away in sudden disgrace. There's that awful, disgusting feeling in the pit of his stomach, the finality of it all.

She doesn't love him anymore. She's moved on with her life.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The annual Seventh Year Holiday, known among students at First Week, has been planned in the Muggle world's Barbados in June. It's the last shindig before everyone heads off to live life away from the only place they've known for the past seven years. The entire graduating class pairs off to rent out lodgings right on the beach front. It's a week of pure debauchery, where everyone stays out all night getting shit faced and high, groping each other against dance club walls until the sun comes up. They, they return to their said flats, sleep until late afternoon, eat, mingle then start all over.

Scorpius has recently signed a multi-Galleon contract with the _Tutshill Tornadoes_. The talk of Hogwarts, he's already been taking photographs and signing autographs, which he gives happily with promises of more spectacular saves once he goes pro. It keeps him busy enough and his father is so proud. They've toured the finest areas of London looking for flats. Scorpius pretends not to notice that his father keeps suggesting all the flat closest to his home. It doesn't matter. Mr. Malfoy is still brooding and serious, but Scorpius treasures their time together nonetheless.

They don't talk about his mother. He's had hopes, as he supposed most children of divorce did, that his parents might reconcile, since neither of them had appeared to be seeing anyone seriously. Perhaps Mrs. Malfoy had been having an affair; she had been out a few times dressed up more than she usually did, but she never told Scorpius where she was going nor did he ask. Even with her mystery "meetings", she has spoken privately to his father, and more than once but Scorpius can never read his mother's expression after she hangs up the Floo. He feels better not asking, not urging her to call his father more. What does he know, after all, about reconciling?

He and Rose have been broken up for months, since January. Surprisingly, it takes losing her to make him realize that he doesn't want to shag around. He puts all his concentration on training instead, wanks off at night when he feels the urge, pretends it doesn't hurt when she passes him by without so much as a glance, as if he's garbage, as if he hadn't taken her virginity that day in her bedroom, as if all they'd shared meant nothing. Maybe it didn't, not the way he'd thought. He wouldn't know. He's too fucked up. He makes a real production of signing his name on parchment to giggling girls when she's around, knowing she can see it, his popularity. He wants her attention, craves it, but she ignores him. Things are always awkward when they find themselves walking along the same corridor, coming from opposite directions. She fixes her eyes on a place just beyond him and he stares at the brick pathway until the moment is over. Sometimes their responses are reversed—Rose looks down, he looks at the sky behind her, but no matter who does what, his heart reacts the same. Pounding uncontrollably in his chest, that desperation clawing at his insides, wishing she would just look at him, but she never does. He dies all over again, inside.

That's the worst part, Scorpius decides—pretending he doesn't care. The second worst thing is knowing that Rose is walking about Hogwarts thinking that he'd lied about loving her. He hates the idea of her thinking all his words to her meant nothing. Too much time has passed to tell her she meant everything. Too much time has passed now for him to explain it in a way she would believe. She hates him and she's moved on. It was painfully obvious, the way Littlejohn wrapped his arm around Rose in the hallways, kissed her as he dropped her off at her dorm too early for classes. They were having sex, he just knew it. It was tricky to do on campus, but Rose's cousins were notorious rule breakers, and beyond clever enough to help Rose find a way to avoid getting caught if she spent the night with _him_. Whenever Scorpius sees the two of them, it cuts his heart open like a knife.

_It's all I have, is my love for you._

Among the last words Rose had spoken to him, words that haunt him day after day. He's been so fucking stupid. He's stupid even now for holding on inside, for not being able to move on with his life, especially the way girls have been recently after finding out about his contract with the _Tornadoes_. They are coming out of the wood works, batting eyes and pressing slips of parchment with their Floo codes into his hand, offering to take his notes, complete his homework, fetch his Quidditch practice bag. Scorpius doesn't respond to any of them. He's not ready to be with anyone else. The heart wants what it wants.

Rose.

* * *

><p>Scorpius prays that his friends have chosen a flat nowhere near hers for the final Seventh Year trip, but his luck regarding Rose is piss poor—the first morning of his arrival, just as he's headed to the beach for a run, he sees none other than Rose herself pulling the door closed to the rented beach house <span>directly<span> next to his. She must be headed out to surf—she's got a board in her hands. Their eyes meet, but she turns away first and walks towards the water. She's cold, an ice queen, but he supposes he ought to be used to it by now. He sucks in a deep breath as he glances helplessly at her body, filling out her green two piece perfectly, hair in a high bun. Some red tendrils already coming undone. His heart lurches with the possible chance to say something to her...

He can't. _She hates you, you wanker. Remember?_

He cheated on her, he lied to her, he pushed her away. So he heads out in the opposite direction, leaving his sleeping friends and starts his run. His coach for the _Tornadoes_ has already told him that practice for professional Quidditch players is brutal, so he makes sure not to get out of his workout routine, not even when he's on vacation with his friends. Besides, he can clear his mind when he runs. It needs clearing right now. So Scorpius runs, to the point where his lungs are about to explode, then turns and starts back. He's run the shame and anger at himself out. He has the strength he needs to continue on with the pretending, certain he can maintain it the next few days, that is, until he hears a scream.

_Her_ scream.

He stops, scanning the ocean until he spots her. She's far out in the water, arms flailing, splashing.

"Rose! Hold on!" he shouts and kicks his trainers off, swimming towards her as fast as he can.

"Something…Something's stung me!" she shrieks. "I can't move my legs!"

He reaches for her just as she sinks beneath the water, making a mad grab for her. Thankfully, he catches her arm. Something bumps against his leg, and he feels a horrible burning sensation, but he's too stricken to look for whatever it is. He can feel himself getting tired, but if he gives up, they both drown. "It's alright…" Scorpius pants, spitting out a mouthful of water. "I've got you." The water has turned choppier in just the moments since he'd entered it, and a small wash of water hurls itself against them, going directly into his mouth. He'd been about to hoist her up onto her board, but the water made him gag, and coughing, he accidentally loses his grip on Rose. At just that moment, another small unassuming wave catches them off guard, knocking Rose back into the water. "No! NO!" Scorpius shouts. He plunges back into the water, his left leg now on full fire. Still, he can't let her die. He dives down after her, the salt burning his eyes but he sees her and makes another grab for her. Luckily, she holds on to him, and this time, he's able to pull her up, up, up and push her over her surfboard. They are both coughing hard, struggling for air. There's a string attached to the front of her surfboard, so he wraps his hand around it and drags it behind him as he kicks hard against the powerful undercurrent. Rose is shivering in pain and even his leg feels like it's melting off, but he's strong enough to make it to the shore with her in tow. Never has he been so glad to feel the mushy sand, promising the shore's safety. It gives him a new strength, which is needed, as Rose can't stand. He helps her onto the already sun warmed sand, where she pitches forward, crying hysterically. Scorpius falls to his knees, exhausted. He has ugly welts across his leg, but a glance at Rose flat out scares him—her legs are completely inflamed, covered in vicious purples slashes. They appear to be jerking beyond her control, as if she is having a seizure. "My wand is…it's back in the flat, I'll go get it—"

"No, you can't leave me!" Rose wails, grabbing his hand. "Please!"

"But…but I can't…You need help—"

"Don't leave me alone! Please!"

Scorpius scoops her up, ignoring his own pain, and begins making his way towards his lodgings. Rose winds her arms around his neck, cries against him, in obvious agony. "I'll fix it. Whatever is wrong, I'll fix it, Rose," he whispers to her. "I promise."

He carries her all the way back to his flat. His friends are still soundless, which means they are still passed out from the night before, so he takes Rose to his bedroom. Once he's laid her down, he fixes his wand at her legs and begins all the best healing spells he remembers from his classes, one after the other until her legs slowly begin to return back to normal. The spells are powerful, and it isn't long before Rose's eyes flutter. She's sound asleep just as he's finishing the last spell, removing the final angry mark from her toned legs.

"Seven bloody hells..." he breathes. He mends his own stings quickly, then turns back to look at his ex girlfriend. He's glued to the spot. It's been so long since they've spoken, longer still since they've been in the same room. Perhaps under different circumstances, Scorpius might cover her and leave until she awakens, but he can't go anywhere. He sits beside her on the bed as all sorts of emotions course through his heart. He's missed her terribly, and now here she is, vulnerable, sick. He's saved her—but what if he hadn't? What if he'd decided to run another mile? She would have drowned. She would have died on the beach, and worse, she may not have been found. The thought terrifies him. He might have _lost_ her, here, today. Uncontrollable tears flood his eyes. Scorpius hurries into bed behind her, circling her in his arms, pressing his face against the back of her neck. Warm. Here, with him. Alive. He pulls her body tighter against his. He wants to hold her and hold her, never let her go.

"I love you, Rose," he whispers. Her gentle breathing is the happiest sound he's heard in months. Is she dreaming of Littlejohn right now? Would she awaken and slug him, finding him wrapped around her as if they'd never broken up? He doesn't know and he doesn't care. All that matters now is that she is here. They are here, together, and the entire world can go up in flames without him giving a second thought towards it. He is exactly where he wants to be, and it feels so right that he closes his own eyes.

Scorpius falls asleep right next to her, so close he can feel her heart beating. It isn't a dream this time.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

From the moment Rose opens her eyes, she knows she is not in a familiar environment. It's not until she feels the rhythmic sensation of warmth against her neck that she suddenly remembers—Scorpius had carried her back to his rental, after saving her life. Now here they are, together, in bed. She's not sure what scares her more, the fact that they are wrapped up together when Daniel is her boyfriend, or the fact that being in his arms feels as natural as it had the last time they lay together, over five months ago. She knows she ought to get up, to push him away from her and flee, but she can't. She can't! So Rose lays there, trying not to cry as she waits. She's confused (what else is new with this boy?) but she's also...dare she even think it? _She's happy_. She's happy and because she's happy, it saddens her, because she knows she shouldn't be here. That doesn't change the fact that she _wants_ to be here. They've ignored each other for months, but now that she's back against him, none of it matters. None of it does. She's happy, in a place so far down in her heart she's almost forgotten. She's crash landed here, and once he wakes up, it could very well be over again, the way it's been. Over. Strangers passing each other at school. Only this time when she gets up, she very likely won't see him again, unless it's from the telly to watch his Quidditch matches. How can she prolong this? She feels she must, as long as she possibly can. She closes her eyes, but does not sleep and imagines he belongs to her again until his breathing pauses. Then she knows he is awake too. When his fingers dig into her hip, she rolls onto her back, turning her face towards his. His brow furrows as he looks down at her, yet he says nothing.

"You rescued me," she says softly. Scorpius blinks back tears as his fingers trace the outline of her face. He nods, swallowing hard. "I...I..." he tries, but he's unable, really, to say much of anything. It doesn't matter. Rose tilts her head up to kiss him full on the mouth. A sound escapes his lips, something between relief and angst, but once she starts it, it won't finish until they are together again.

* * *

><p>"Forgive me...please...forgive me." Scorpius's words are heavy with emotion, as their bodies move together and apart. She has missed it, him, <em>everything<em> but especially _this_, the way they are when there are no barriers between them. He slides both hands down under her bottom, steadying her as he pushes himself in as deep as possible, making her gasp. "Be in love with me again..." he whispers fiercely. "Say it...that you need me, that you still want me..."

"You...I'll never know what to do about you..." she murmurs. Her arms wind around his neck, and she presses her naked body tightly against his chest. He's hard and warm, exactly the way she remembered. "I love you."

It happens then, his release. Hers soon after. He stays just where he is, inside her, in her arms. With his face still pressed against the side of her neck, he cries. "I'm sorry. I'm just so fucking sorry. For everything."

She kisses his tears away, one by one.

* * *

><p>His roommates are starting to stir, but he tugs at her hand. "Don't go. Stay. Just stay. Let's stay in this room all day," he begs her.<p>

He is this way, always, when they are alone. No one would believe how sentimental he could be, but he is. Rose loves him, of course she does, but she's hesitant.

"Daniel will be so hurt. He doesn't deserve this," Rose responds as she adjusts her bikini top.

Scorpius sits up straighter. "You'll stay with him? After what we've just done?"

"Do you know what you put me through? You destroyed me. I was devastated! And you didn't care, you just...were so horrible to me. You wouldn't even look at me!" She can feel her hurt rising back up inside of her, even though he's apologized. She drops her head into her hands. Now it's her turn to cry. "What have I done? It's not as if anything will change with you. It never does! Oh, what have I done? I've got to go. I've got to tell Daniel and hope he'll understand—"

"Rose," Scorpius interrupts. He scoots forward, taking her in his arms. "You're flipping out. You're not going to get back with Daniel, you can't. You and I have to find a way to make it work. This time will be different. This time I won't let you down. I promise by the gods. I swear!"

She pushes him away, standing up. "You can't." She wipes her face angrily. Reality has set in now, how she's possibly thrown away a perfectly good relationship over Scorpius Malfoy. "You'll change your mind by Sunday. I _know_ you."

"I've _changed_. Bloody hell, I've changed! Here, there's something I want you to have," he says. He goes to his trunk, pulling out a small book. The embossed notebook she'd given him for Christmas. He holds it out to her. "My journal. I started it right after we broke up. It's all there, everything. All my confessions, all my sins, everything I felt about you the whole time, Rose. I want you to have it. I was going to send it to you before I started my Quidditch season, but you can have it now."

She takes it, tentatively. They stand silent for several moments. Finally, Scorpius thrusts his hands in his pockets. "I know I've treated you terribly. I know it seemed like I stopped caring about you, that I stopped loving you. I never did. I want you back, for good this time. For always. It does seem so sudden, what just happened here, but...Rose, please, just read it. Read every word of it. That's my heart on those pages. After you're finished, you let me know what you decide."

She looks at him. "And if I decide this was a mistake?"

His eyes sadden, but he doesn't look away. "Then, I suppose it'd be what I deserve. You have a right to hate me. But if you _do_ decide that, perhaps it'd please you to know the way I'd regret losing you for the rest of my life."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**TWO YEARS LATER…**

_"Are you sure, Scorpius, you want me to read _all_ of this?" Rose asked him when she had gotten to a particularly honestly written page in his journal, a page that had caused her to slam the book shut with a gasp and Floo him right away. _

_He'd been embarrassed, a little, but unchanging in his insistence she finish reading. "Yes. You have to know everything. No matter how personal it might seem. I want you to know everything about me." _

It had helped her to trust him, in the end. She felt he could be believed, and now here they are, flatmates (and lovers) with a perfect cottage complete with a kitchen overlooking rolling countryside. They decide their supper schedule like this—Scorpius would be the one to cook, and Rose would tidy up afterwards. He insists that they always eat together, no matter what time the other gets home. Rose knows it's because of how lonely he'd always been, growing up with his parents fighting all the time and eventually splitting up during their last year at Hogwarts.

He's quite incredible in the kitchen. He tells her proudly that he learned how to cook all by himself, without a manual. Rose watches the concentration on his face as he mixes this and that together. "It's delicious," she coos, and it's true. She loves seeing this side to him, this domesticated side. He's told her he's afraid of losing her, of losing everything they share and she read in his journal that he secretly believed that no two people could ever really stay happy forever, so when he does these things—insisting they eat together, cooking, coming up behind her as she scribbles her case notes to kiss her ear—when he does these things, she can believe that it's true what he says, that he'll never let _her_ go.

They learn their way around the kitchen easily enough. Other areas take more practice, more compromise. The bathroom, for instance. Scorpius isn't as concerned with flushing the loo after each use and he leaves his bath items helter skelter over the counter—his body lotion and deodorant that smells of pine, the floss for his perfect white teeth— but he loves the bed made in the mornings. Rose doesn't think twice about the way the sheets look after she's up, but she makes the bed sometimes without his mentioning it. Laundry, however, she does without the prompting. She loves it, loves to empty their worn clothing into the large washing cauldron and charm whatever soaps she wants the clothes scented with. Scorpius scoffs that it's house elf work, but she was raised with parents who were totally against it, so the idea doesn't sit well with her. They bicker, but finally, Scorpius convinces her to _hire_ two house elves. Rose pays them above what they asked for according to their news ad, and she's very careful to treat them with immeasurable kindness, even giving them gifts for all the holidays. "It's why I love you so much, because your heart is pure all the way through," he whispers to her one night. "Our hearts are the same," she replies. He shakes his head. "No. Anything pure about me is only because of you."

Scorpius needs almost more space than she does about his other things—his trainers and cloaks and jumpers, wristwatches and Galleon sacks. If a single item is out of place, he knows it. Rose has clothing and accessories strewn about, and it drives him bloody mad but it is in this way, all their ways of sharing a space, that they learn each other even more, little by little. They are lovers, but at the base of it all, they have become the very best of friends.

* * *

><p>They're out one day, enjoying their time together and on the way to the train, a street vendor calls out to them. "Stop and buy some pretty flowers for the pretty wife, Sir? Can charm them if ye like, make 'em bloom till Christmas."<p>

Scorpius and Rose glance at each other, both turning red as her hair. "Er…" Scorpius sputters as Rose simultaneously says , "Oh, no, no, we aren't married!"

He is quiet on their lunch date. "That was embarrassing," Rose says, smoothing her hair. She's trying to get a feel for what he'll say, because they've discussed the marriage topic before (her parents had been totally against her moving in without a formal commitment from him, but looking into his green eyes, she couldn't refuse his request) and it hadn't gone exactly the way she'd have preferred.

"I know you want to," he says, a hairpin turn from sounding glum, moody. "But you know what I went through…with my parents and all…"

It's what he said the last time.

"You aren't your parents. I'm me. You're you. We're not your mum and dad." Which is what _she_ said the last time.

"I know." He looks up at her, his eyes softening. "I love you. I'm happier than I've ever been. And you're happy, aren't you? I just don't want any of that to change."

"Why would it? We're already living together. We're already sharing everything." She watches her boyfriend—the love of her life— fidget uncomfortably. He makes a move as if to bite his nails, which he only does when he's anxious. "Rose," he says. "We're only _twenty_, Rose. There's no rush."

She pushes, he retreats. She doesn't want to argue, not today, when they've had such a good time, so she throws him a forced smile. "Of course. I'm not expecting a proposal by sundown. We're happy. There's no rush," she parrots as her heart twists in her chest.

He smiles, takes her hand across the table. Relieved. "Exactly. I mean...it's almost like we already _are_, isn't it?"

Rose forces another smile. "I suppose, being that I _am_ doing your soiled laundry and all."

He laughs and just then the food arrives. Rose forces herself to eat but her appetite has diminished.

* * *

><p>"...She knows how I feel about it. It just scares the royal shit out of me. She could never possibly understand what it's like...yes, exactly...That's when we broke up the first time...yes...yes, I know...honestly, it's just...it's just bloody terrifying..."<p>

Rose pretends, after he hangs up, that she hadn't heard a thing. There's nothing she can do about his fear of commitment, of them not making it, not working out. It's her fear, too, sometimes because even now, after all they have been through, the relationship is not without fault.

They argue at times. Both are a bit spoiled and prone to having tantrums when they don't get their way. Rose always loses her temper and shouts while Scorpius sulks and tosses out offending remarks just before he shuts down ("Have it your way. And kiss my arse while you're at it, Rose").

One of the worst arguments, as it happens, is over a Quidditch match—his determining game to the semifinals. Rose, who never really cared to keep up with Quidditch after Hogwarts, misses it because of her work schedule.

"How can you be so nonchalant about it when you're practically married to the best player on the Tornadoes team?" Roxy asks incredulously. To which Rose responds by first blushing furiously, and next insisting, "We're not _practically married_, for gods sake. We've only just moved in together."

Scorpius has told her before it hurts him when she doesn't go to the games, but Rose feels it's slightly ridiculous when there's no possible way he could see her among the crowd. "It doesn't matter if I can find you in the stands or not, the point is that you're there and I know it," Scorpius says. "I would find the time to see at least half your matches if _you_ were playing. You knew this was an important game to me and you couldn't even be bothered to make the second quarter of it."

"I was working! It isn't _my_ career to zip about a pitch while fans are screaming in excitement! It's the choice _you_ made, not me!" Her response doesn't help, and she knows this, but she's tired and under a lot of stress with her current legal case. It's her most important client yet, and she knows all eyes in her department are on her, watching and waiting to see if the infamous daughter of Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger truly deserves her high paying job as an attorney at such an early age.

Scorpius' eyes flash anger. "Oh, here you are again, holier than thou. Of _course_ your career spent mostly behind a mahogany desk is better than mine. _Of course_ your career matters more than mine."

"I never said that! You aren't being fair!" Rose nearly shouts, cheeks growing red.

"I'm never fair when I'm telling you the bloody truth about yourself!"

"You can't find fault with me because I don't have the same passion about Quidditch as you do!"

He slings his uneaten fork of filet mignon down. "Do you know I had them reserve seating for you? Right near the front so you couldn't tell me I wouldn't notice you. I looked all night in that reservation box. My dad finally turned up at halftime with the twit he's been seeing. My Mum was there with her mates. But you? You were flat out nowhere to be found. You've no idea the embarrassment I felt at having to make yet another excuse for your absence."

Rose blinks, fumbling for words. "I….I didn't…I'm sorry, I…"

"Don't worry about it. It's over now," he quips. He shoves his bite of steak into his mouth, takes a long drink of juice before he tosses out, "At halftime after I saw you weren't there, I gave the tickets to a classmate of ours. Rubina Webster and her sister."

Rose nearly chokes on her butterbeer. "What?!" Rubina and her sister are bloody gorgeous and among the more sought after girls during Hogwarts. What was she even doing there? How did she get to talk to Scorpius?

"Oh, don't act so bloody surprised. Everyone is in awe of me except the one girl I spend each and every day with. Don't think for a moment there aren't others lined up to be in your position. Living together with me and all."

She jumps up from the table. "If you want an adoring fan to take my place here, please _don't_ let me stand in your way!" she says angrily, then shoves away from the table and runs up the stairs, slamming and charming the bedroom door shut. He clankers around for a spell before there's silence. He's gone out. She curls into a ball on their bed and bursts into tears.

* * *

><p>His hands awaken her, hot and groping as they slip under her shirt. She turns in the darkness, her body already responding though her mind tries to fight him off. She opens her mouth to tell him no, she <em>won't<em> have him tonight, but his lips are already on hers, the residual alcohol still heavy in his mouth. He's absolutely tossed but he's come back home, to her.

"Rose..." he slurs as he tugs her panties down, guides her thighs around his waist. "Rose...you drive me fucking crazy...you make me so confused..."

She supposes it's unhealthy, the way they make love after arguments, but she can't find the words to complain when he is on her, in her.

"Marry me," he whispers afterwards, wrapped around her so close she can hear his heart beating. "I know I can be difficult. But marry me anyway. Marry me anyway. Love you, Rosie. Love you, love you, love you..."

"You're drunk," she says quietly back, though her own heart skips a beat."We can talk about it later, perhaps tomor—"

He snores against her ear. He's fallen asleep.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry about the game. I should have been there. I haven't an excuse. It was important to you and I should have been there. I'll be there next time," she tells him the next morning as they eat breakfast. His hair is sticking up and he's shirtless under his old Slytherin robe, but he's never looked more gorgeous to Rose. He shifts his arm and the muscles in his chest flex. She sucks in her breath, wanting him all over again. It's ridiculous.<p>

He nods. "I'm sorry for what I said as well. It wasn't…it didn't happen quite the way I told it. My mum had the tickets and I told her just do what she wanted with them once I saw you weren't there. Somehow or another, she got them to Rubina. They know each other from the Ministry. Rubina was with her bloke and so was her sister. There wasn't any...you know...flirting going on. I was just trying to get you upset."

"Oh," Rose says. "Well thank you, Scorpius. For admitting that." She bites her lip for a moment before she continues, "I've got to work on…on the _way_ I say things to you. And my temper."

He chuckles. "I quite fancy your temper, so long as I'm not at the brunt of it. My fiery little redhead. My feisty little Rosie."

She rolls her eyes but smiles. He's positively the only person save her mother that she will allow to call her _Rosie_. His eyes somewhat sadden as he continues, "I don't see you ever walking out on me. But I'm fooling myself if I think...if I expect you to put up with me just _because_."

"I won't leave you," she says. "I wouldn't."

"I know. I don't know _how_ I know it, but I know. Even when you weren't speaking to me after we split. I felt we still had a bond. There was still something there, always there, something that hurt the whole time we were apart. I don't want to be apart again. I can't be apart from you."

She's not sure where he's going with this. Her mouth has become very dry suddenly. Scorpius bites the corner of his lip. "Do you think we could have it all?" he asks softly.

Could they? A Weasley with a Malfoy? Together for always, together with holidays with both their families? Could they be happy despite the dark past of the Malfoys, as dark as hers was light? Could she really be the other part of his life, the one to trek into the woods and cut down their very own Christmas tree year after year, the one to bear his children? Was it possible? Would she really stick by his side, no matter what? He was asking and this was her one chance to take it or leave it.

"Yes," she says confidently, blinking back tears. Because in her mind, she can see it, all of it, the good and the bad, but most of all, the togetherness of it all.

He nods. "Alright," he says. "Alright, then."

He hasn't asked, not yet, but she knows it's coming. He'll wait to surprise her, but of course she'll have figured it out because she knows him so well. He'll somehow manage to pull off his proposal at his Quidditch game, the last game in the semifinals. He'll use her favorite color and decorate the sky with the words, "Rose Weasley, will you marry me?" And everyone in the stands will cheer and clap as she jumps up and down and screams, "Absolutely! I will, I will!" It won't be a surprise but it will still feel as good as if she hadn't known. It'll be the most perfect day of her life so far, that day will.

She ends up being off on one regard. It doesn't happen at the last game in the semifinals. It happens the very first.

THE END


End file.
